Mongo Nation

Topics for debate at the close of this year’s E3

By Jeremy Azevedo

Even after all those presentations, press conferences, and closed-door demo sessions, the gaming press still has unanswered questions about E3 2008. Let’s take a look at some of the hottest lingering rumors at the end of the week…

Rumor Number 5: Nintendo is working on a USB hard drive

Wii Ware the f**k am I supposed to keep all this shit?

There was no mention of WiiWare, the Virtual Console, or hard drive’s of any sort at the Nintendo press conference. But with Microsoft and Sony constantly intrducing new SKUs with bigger hard drives every few months, it’s about time Nintendo addresses their glaring storage problems. I hope they figure out something soon, or the WiiWare service is going to die in the cradle.
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Revisit the controller-snappers of your youth!

By Jeremy Azevedo

Everybody remembers the final bosses of all the classic NES game: Bowser, Red Falcon, Gannon, Mother Brain, Dr. Wiley. But what about the lesser bosses… the assistant managers of evil in the department store of adventure? What about them, huh?

In honor of the middle management monsters of gaming’s past, we’ve compiled a list of the top 10 most compelling minibosses of the NES era.

Former baddies at the law offices of Hippo, Birdo, Woodman and Sachs.

Birdo (Super Mario Bros. 2)

Quite possibly the most disturbing example of cosplay ever conceived.

Just what the hell is a “Birdo” anyway? A transgender reptile/bird/mammal thing that spits eggs out of it’s gaping snout as an act of aggression? Eggs that never hatch? What sort of creature would do something like that? How do they reproduce, by getting mustached plumbers to re-fertilize them by chucking the eggs back at them or something?

Whatever the hell it is, Birdo shares the important distinctions of being both the first openly bi-curious video game character and the first miniboss to ever have a “nerdcore” metal song written about it:

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How did they keep this a secret for so long?

In a surprise announcement today, Nintendo has confirmed that the pack-in game to be included with the soon to be released Wii Zapper will not be a new version of Duck Hunt, as had been previously hinted. Even better, it will be a new Zelda game entitled: “Link’s Crossbow Training”.

Pray to whatever god you worship that the outfit is not also included.

The game will run on an engine similar to Twilight Princess. Link’s Crossbow Training will challenge players to start of with stationary targets and gradually increase their skill to the point at which they can successfully defend against hoards of attacking monsters. It isn’t necessarily a full-fledged adventure but the sound of it, but rather a fun introduction to the style of play incorporated by the new peripheral.

The Wii Zapper in all it’s glory, clutched in the grease stained fingers of some fanboy.

The Wii Zapper is a single unit that will incorporate the WiiMote and it’s nunchuck attachment into one device that can be used for precision targeting. Some of the upcoming games that will support the Wii Zapper are EA’s Medal of Honor Heroes 2, Capcom’s Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles and Sega’s Ghost Squad.

Next-Gen Duck Hunt?

It remains to be seen how the Wii Zapper will differentiate itself from some of the tired old light gun games of yesterday, but given their recent track record, I’d say it’s only fair to give them the benefit of the doubt. The Wii Zapper with Link’s Crossbow Training will be available Nov. 19, and will retail for only $19.99.

Hogan’s Alley: A game from a better time, in which every single character had a mustache.

At that price, and with Link included, it’s pretty much a no-brainer for Nintendo fans both old and new. But some of us older fans are still going to be a bit pissed if the Duckhunt and Hogan’s Alley remakes are not forthcoming.