Mongo Nation

I’ll admit, she makes a very persuasive case!

If you saw our coverage from THQ’s Darksiders launch party, you may have noticed that THQ is really using sex to sell the game (despite Darksiders having maybe one ancillary female character and virtually no reference to sex whatsoever). Not that anyone’s complaining… That’s just a simple statement of fact.

Now Playboy is getting in on the act by inciting notorious game blogger/Playboy’s Cyber Girl of the Year, Jo Garcia, to act as a human projector screen for the game’s extended launch trailer. It’s a lot like one of those pictures from the 90s, where if you squint at it, you eventually see a sailboat pop out of the image. Only instead of some bullshit sailboat, it’s a hot, half-naked Playboy model. Is it “art”? Will it give you a “boner”? I don’t know, these are questions for someone far wiser than myself. Maybe you should just watch the trailer and decide for yourself:

You can see more videos of Jo Garcia being hot and pretending to like video games at Playboy.com!

Bethesda drums up some excitement for their new action/RPG.

I got a weird, unexpected package from Bethesda today. It was a giant rectangular box that looked like this:

I opened it up and found a weird little tube inside with a keycard USB (as opposed to the laser beam that I half-hoped would be there. Maybe next time…). The tube and key card were fit snugly into the box like top-secret radioactive materials or something. It certainly warranted my attention/concern.

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We talk to creative director Joe Madureira and check out a sexy horse-riding contest!

Darksiders is a new action/adventure title from THQ that we’re pretty excited about. Especially after attending the premiere party in Agoura Hills to check out the game for ourselves. It plays sort of like a cross between “God of War” (which is what I compare all action games to now because I am unimaginative) and “The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction”. In Darksiders, you play as War, one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Basically, someone started the Armageddon without you, and you’re tasked with killing your way across a post-apocalyptic world to find out who dicked up the master plan and why.

A welcome alternative to the usual spry Little Mac action hero, War is a tank that bashes pissant enemies to mush with his swords and guns and even crushes them under the hooves of his trusty steed, Ruin. Even the bigger enemies feel sort of equal measure to War, which is not to say that they are easy, but rather that you actually feel like you are in a fight as opposed to constantly playing David & Goliath throughout the entire game like many similar titles will force you to do.

We talked to creative designer and comic legend Joe Madureira about his designs for the game and why you should buy tons of copies. It had something to do with making him unimaginably rich, if I remember correctly. While we were there, we also had the good fortune to check out a sexy horse-riding contest! Or more specifically, sexy girls riding a mechanical horse. Not “sexy horses”. That would be weird. Check it out!

Official Darksiders trailer:

You asked for a challenge, and you got one.

By Jeremy Azevedo

Borderlands was easily one of my favorite titles of the year, if not ever. Combining the loot collecting, RPG elements of Diablo with the shooter Gameplay of Halo has resulted in one of the most refreshing titles in ages. But as much as I loved “The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned”, this second DLC, “Mad Moxxi’s Underdome Riot poses a couple of problems for me.

The arena based combat that makes up the entirety of this add-on is nothing entirely new to Borderlands veterans. There are several instances in which you have had the opportunity to compete against waves of wasteland baddies throughout the main narrative. These have always served as a fun diversion, and it would make sense to have a chance to revisit them for one very simple reason: After a certain amount of time, your character and weapons will become too strong to be properly challenged.

Borderlands’ new leading lady, Mad Moxxi.

It’s too bad then, that The Underdome is just a little too goddamn hard. I hadn’t played Borderlands in a few weeks and was surprised at how rusty I had become. So that was my first problem. My second problem, and one that many people will experience, is that there wasn’t really anyone else playing it at the same time as I was.

With five rounds of five waves of enemies, there is absolutely no way in hell that a single person could make their way through it without playing in the first playthrough (in which the enemies are significantly less hardcore) with a full set of super-orange weapons and gear. And even then, you probably wouldn’t survive long, what with the rule changes that pop up between rounds. These could range from specific weapon damage bonuses to low gravity, spastic enemies, a health sapping vampire mode (which will be none too familiar to Soulcalibur vets) or playing “naked” (with no shields). Co-op play is not just encouraged here, it’s pretty much required.

Gearbox appears to have learned a little somethin’ from Dragon Age’s infamous “Warden’s Keep” DLC…

Once you get a team together, things get a lot more interesting. Instead of being shit out of luck when you die, you instead go to a “penalty box” for the duration of the round. From here, you can still snipe enemies and participate in a limited fashion, which is sorta fun. It reminds me of Super Bomberman back on the Super SNES. The difficulty on later playthroughs really tests your ability to play well and work as a team, which is something a lot of players wanted. Plus you get a “bank” to store your favorite gear, which is awesome, especially if you do a lot of trading with other players. And you can get a couple of skill points for your trouble, which gives you a very specific edge in PvP arenas and that. Read the rest of this entry →

Pandemic goes out on a good note with a great game.

By Jeremy Azevedo

I’m guessing that it probably had something to do with the demise of the developer about a month before launch, but there hasn’t been a whole lot of hype around the launch of The Saboteur… at least not that I’ve noticed. And it’s too bad, because this was easily one of my favorite titles of the year.

The first thing you’ll notice about The Saboteur is that it looks amazing. This is some of the best art design of any title this year. Taking place in Nazi occupied France during WWII, the local Parisians live under a n oppressive grey cloud that drains the color out of everything, save for a few bright red Nazi armbands, blue resistance scarves and yellow lamplights. Take back a neighborhood, and the color comes back along with the people’s will to fight. It’s all very cinematic, and the sound design follows suit quite nicely. You will not hear better voice work in any other game this holiday season, especially considering the numerous foreign accents on display here.

Visuals aside, The Saboteur may seem like a WWII-era GTAIV clone at first glance, with it’s open world environments, armed combat and driving Gameplay. Really though, it does virtually everything better. The sneaking ability isn’t the bullshit mechanic that stealth Gameplay usually is in videogames. It’s actually very useful (not to mention fun) stalking Nazis so you can take their uniform and walk right in through the front door. When it comes time to start shooting, the light cover mechanics and shooter Gameplay works like a charm. Even the driving is very intuitive, except for when you’re driving a tank. The tanks suck big time. Best of all, there were no cell phones during WWII so you don’t have all your douchebag “friends” constantly bothering you to go on boring and time-wasting play-dates. The only one good thing that GTAIV had that The Saboteur doesn’t were the cabs. There are times when you just can’t believe how long it takes to get from point A to point B. Some kind of fast-travel option would have been a grand addition.

The best part of The Saboteur, though, is the actual sabotage (naturally). Dynamite is cool, but once you get the triggered RDX, it’s a whole new ballgame. Even if it could possibly jeapordize my entire mission, I often can’t resist the urge to blow a Nazi watchtower, anti-aircraft gun or radar station ass-over-teakettle. And just wait until you get to start blowing up trains and zeppelins! If you like explosions, this game is like a pyromaniac’s dream.

When you aren’t sneaking up on Nazis, racing cars or blowing shit up, you’ll no doubt find yourself doing quite a bit of climbing. It would have been cool if the climbing was a little bit more like Assassin’s Creed, but I suppose that wouldn’t be terribly realistic. The climbing here can be a little time-consuming, but it’s well worth it when you can creep undetected into the heart of an enemy base and blow it to hell from the inside.

Even those of you that swore up and down that you’d never play another WWII game will enjoy the hell out of The Saboteur. It’s a very unexpected entry into the genre that wins a lot of points for originality… It’s sort of like playing a videogame version of Inglorious Basterds. Plus, there are titties in it. Id you like Ingolrious basterds, explosions and/or titties, then The Saboteur is definitely worth a try. I hope that the talented people of Pandemic go on to do more great games like this.

CraveOnline Rating: 8.5 out of 10 Unicorns Fighting a Robot Dolphin

+1 if you’ve been on the hunt for a really great “mad bomber” type game since “Mighty Bomb Jack” back in ’87.
-1 if you are a prude that is offended by the naked-y burlesque shows at the Belle de Nuit.