Teeth 0
If this is what evolution leads to, I don’t wanna believe in it either!
 By Jeremy Azevedo |
You may or may not have recently heard mention of a movie called “Teeth”, a film that is garnering a fair share of attention due to its very bizarre premise. |
Essentially it’s a modern take on the ancient tale of the “vagina dentata”. That’s right, it’s a movie about a vagina with teeth. That bites men. On the penis.
Now, if you’re the kind of person that finds merit in the absurd, like I am, you might be asking yourself, “How could you go wrong with a movie about a vagina with teeth?” The short answer is that you really can’t. This is obviously a must see movie simply because of the fact that it exists. So the real question is, what should I expect when I go to see this film?
I’ll tell you what not to expect. Despite the filmmakers’ claims that “Teeth” is an indie film, sometimes indie just means low budget. This is not a film with the production quality and/or comedic chops of a film like “Scream” or “Shaun of the Dead”. It’s not even on par with “Club Dread”. It’s also not the dark and bloody revenge fantasy that “I Spit on your Grave” once was. If I had to compare “Teeth” to any movie, it’d be something more like “Dr. Giggles” or “Ice Cream Man”. It’s like one of those old school slashers with insane premises that played it straight as an arrow despite every temptation to go the comedic route.
What “Teeth” does right is that it manages to be entertaining throughout, even going so far as to create some really creepy moments between the main protagonist and her cult-like Christian youth group peers, as well as some uncomfortably incestuous moments with her anally obsessed brother. And you’ll die when you see the obvious but nevertheless awesome scene at the gynecologist’s office. I really can’t think of any good reason why everyone shouldn’t go see this movie, if for no other reason than out of good old-fashioned morbid curiosity.
RATING: 7 out of 10
