10 Lazy Game Design Cliches That Piss Me Off 0
Now with 40% more exploding barrels!
By Jeremy Azevedo
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There’s a lot to like about modern video games… The graphics look better, the music sound better, the stories are deeper, and the gameplay is more advanced without being too complicated. But there’s also a lot to hate! |
No matter how much time passes, no matter how much people complain, the same old lazy game design clichés persist like crabs in a cathouse. Following is a list of the top 10 most intolerable design elements still in use today…
Unskippable Tutorials/Cutscenes
And so on and so forth…
Goddamnit, the game already comes with a manual, right? If I wanted to know how to play the game, I’d read that and be done with it. Don’t make me sit through a tutorial before I can play the game, especially if it’s cleverly disguised as “gameplay”. The same goes for cut scenes: If I wanted to watch a movie, I’d do that. I’m all for story development and everything, but if it comes at a cost of gameplay, if it’s unskippable (especially on subsequent playthroughs) or if it’s overlong, then I can do without. Metal Gear series, I’m looking squarely at you on this one! Shut your goddamn pie-hole and let me shoot some terrorists or robots or whatever the f**k already!
Locked Doors
Wow. Really?
So let me get this straight: I am a badass 6’4 spec-ops mercenary packing a bazooka, a cyborg exo-skeleton and a machine gun with a chainsaw attached to it, but I can’t kick open a locked door? Seriously? This is especially retarded in games with vehicles, which you always magically have the keys to regardless of said vehicle’s origin, or in Resident Evil games, where the key is always some piece of shit stone idol or jewel or something. If I have a lightsaber or a grenade launcher in my hand, no locked door is going to stop me, so please, for the love of god, think of a better way to impede my progress than making me look for another lousy color coded key card.
