Mongo Nation

Truth in advertising or wishful thinking?

By Jeremy Azevedo

I’ve been playing Guitar Hero since 2005, and as a longtime advocate of Guitar Hero in general, I must say that I am both delighted and troubled by the existence of Guitar Hero: Smash Hits.

Ever since the introduction of Rock Band and the subsequent inception of music DLC, many of us have been wondering “why on earth haven’t Neversoft and/or Activision remastered the goddamn songs from the first two Guitar Heroes for use with the whole band already?” I don’t know if they were short-sighted when acquiring the rights to the songs in the first place, or if it’s just that much more difficult to get original masters or what, but two years later we finally have our answer. Obviously Guitar Hero as a franchise is not a huge supporter of DLC, so it should come as no surprise that the “Greatest Hits” compilation of songs from previous games should be packaged as a stand-alone title at full retail price.

The question, then, is: “Is this really worth paying $60 for?” I don’t know what the answer to that is. It depends on who you ask.

If Guitar Hero: Smash Hits contained all or most of the songs from the earlier games, then I would say yes, buy the game immediately. There were so many great songs in the first two games in particular that you’d be foolish not to… In the beginning, there wasn’t as much pressure for the developers to appeal to a mainstream audience, so absolutely no concessions were made to include shitty tweeny-bop bands in the slightest. This is not to say that Guitar Hero has gone half as pop as Rock Band has, but there was a distinct lean toward metal earlier on that lends itself particularly well to the simulated band experience. The more obscure stuff doesn’t work as well with the karaoke, but that’s always been my least favorite part of the game so I don’t personally mind that as much.

The problem, though, is that of all the 200 or so songs that could have been used for this game, there are only 48 on the disc. Considering that Guitar Hero: World Tour had more than 80, I just don’t see how this warrants a full retail price tag. The only explanation for this that I can see is that there must be a sequel coming exactly twelve months form now, possibly even two, that contain all the rest of the material that didn’t make it on this one. There are simply too many awesome songs that weren’t included for me to believe otherwise. And, considering that this is marketed directly at longtime fans of the series, I can’t help but feel that I am being taken advantage of by this fact.

Economic considerations aside, Guitar Hero: Smash Hits is a welcome return to familiar territory. Playing “Mother” on vocals and “The Trooper” on drums was way rad. My lady piece, who claims to be “sick to f**king death of goddamn Guitar Hero” (her words, not mine) played drums on like five songs and then went on to sing maybe ten more. So I suspect that this would make a great party game, as usual. Plus, the addition of open-note strumming for the bass guitar, the slide bar on guitar and competitive play add a whole layer of depth to the experience that wasn’t originally present. In fact, some of these additions make the tougher songs a lot easier to pull off than they were originally, which is nice. I’ve been missing “Cowboys From Hell” and “Bark At The Moon” for quite some time now, so it was very satisfying to play them again on guitar, bass and drums.

In conclusion, I award Guitar Hero: Smash Hits 7 out of 10 Unicorns Fighting a Robot Dolphin:

+ 1 if you really dig the OG fan service
-1 if you’re seriously butthurt by the fact that there’s no Rolling Stones, Megadeth or Guns N’ Roses in this particular edition.

Metal band plays at disgraced author’s book signing!

By Jeremy Azevedo

Do you remember the author, James Frey, who wrote “A Million Little Pieces”, a memoir that became an Oprah book club selection? And then it turns out that a lot of the stuff in the book was made up? Well it turns out that Frey is still working, despite being shamed on live television, has a new book out, and loves metal!

But this isn’t really about James Frey, really, although it was maybe supposed to be. See, Frey had it in his mind that having a rock band play at his book reading would make the whole show more entertaining, and perhaps even endear him to a younger crowd. As such, he hired heavy metal band “Black Tide” to play at his show, which was a free, all ages event… at Whiskey A Go Go in Hollywood of all places.

Now I’m not trying to make broad generalizations here, but in my own personal experience, metal heads are not known to be the most literate of people. Especially teenage metal heads that live in or near Hollywood. It became apparent fairly early on that the majority of the “guests” in attendance were only there for a free metal show. Words cannot describe how awkward the question and answer period after Frey’s reading was, but I can tell you that his frustration with the crowd was clearly obvious. And the guy that went before him? He looked like he was going to jump out of the window, if there even was one.

Anyway, the moral of the story was that I had an interview with the band afterward, the results of which I have taken some minor liberties with in order to punch things up (In the style of James Frey, of course). Following is my account of that interview with Black Tide bassist Zakk Sandler, and guitarist Lexx Nunez.

Guitar Hero is the new Rock Band?

By Jeremy Azevedo

In an obvious bid to silence those that would accuse Activision of resting on it’s laurels while Rock Band evolves the music game genre far beyond the scope of Guitar Hero, The developer has made a shocking announcement in this month’s issue of Game Informer.

Apparently, the next installment of Guitar Hero will not only feature the addition of drums and vocals, but will also feature a six piece drum kit and a new guitar peripheral with an as-yet-unannounced new feature. No word yet on whether or not these new instruments will be compatible with Rock Band or vice-versa. But judging by the fact that the Rock Band drum kit is only a four piece, I’d say the chances are slim. I’d also say that both Activision and Harmonix are getting just a little bit carried away with all the goddamn controllers. How many more do they really expect consumers to buy?

Additionally, Guitar Hero 4 will allow greater customization of band members, logos, and instruments in-game. Of course, due to legal entanglements with former sponsor, Gibson, this may not include actual real-world instrument models. The really big news, though, is that this installment will raise the stakes one step further by allowing users to actually record their own music. That’s right, honest to goodness digital video game bands will soon be peddling their wares on MySpace. Obviously, Playstation 2 Guitar Heroes can suck it when it comes to actually uploading their custom creation on the web.

The only bands that have even a tentative confirmation for the game are Van Halen, The Eagles Linkin Park, Sublime and contest winners The Answer. No idea what songs will be featured yet, so don’t ask. You’re welcome to guess though!

Underage metal maniacs reincarnate the shred

By Jeremy Azevedo

“Black Tide” is a group of old school metal heads, most of which are still in school, as their ages range from as old as 19 to as young as 15. Despite their age, these kid shred like the swarthiest, beardiest, 40 year old Dio cover band you’ve ever seen.

This is because the band was grown in test tubes by Interscope scientists, using the combined DNA of a tour bus full of Iron Maiden fans that crashed in 1983. The genetic protoplasm that would eventually become Black Tide was continually exposed to the 2CD “Monsters of Rock” collection (as seen on TV!) every waking moment of their incubation process (and also in the sleeping moments, too).

Black Tide kickin’ it in Hell, being all like “whatever!”

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Behind the scenes of their totally metal new video

By Jeremy Azevedo

Despite the lot of them being under 20 years of age, Black Tide shreds like the 80s metal bands of yesteryear that many of us fondly remember headbanging to back in the day.

While most kids their age are playing guitar hero like a bunch of pansy ass nerds, these dudes are playing rapid-fire salvos of face melting thrash like it’s as easy as turning on a goddamn light switch. Although none of these kids are officially related, it is theorized that they were all secretly fathered by the soul and messenger of the Other Gods from Outside, the crawling chaos, Nyarlathotep. Who is also the half-brother of King Diamond, coincidently!

Anyway, we’ve got an exclusive behind the scenes clip from Black Tide’s video shoot for their first single, “Shockwave”. It reminds me a little of a mix between Twisted Sister’s video for “We’re Not Gonna Take It”, the Beastie Boys video for “Fight For Your Right To Party” and a little bit of “House Party” thrown in for good measure. Check it out!