Mongo Nation

Are they out of touch? (Short answer: Yes.)

By Jeremy Azevedo

While at a press conference for a boring documentary about the history of the electric guitar that no one will watch, Jimmy Page and Jack White were challenged to comment on the concept of music based video games.

I am so goddamn tired of musicians ragging on the state of the music industry and bawling about how much money they’re losing (as if making millions of dollars a year to fiddle on thier little guitars is a right and not a privilege), then turning right around and attacking the only forms of music ditribution that real people actually still use (i.e. downloading services like iTunes and Guitar Hero/Rock Band games). Apparently these seemingly obvious concepts of industry evlution and supply vs. demand are entriely foreign to Jimmy Page and Jack White, who are not interested in participating in the music gaming fad/proven-effective modern business model. Relying on the age-old “it’s not like playing real instruments” argument, Jimmy Page had this to say:

“You think of the drum part that John Bonham did on Led Zeppelin’s first track on the first album, Good Times Bad Times,” Page said. “How many drummers in the world can play that part, let alone on Christmas morning? Christ I’m old.”

I find it unsurprising that someone as old and out-of-touch as Jimmy Page would find little to be excited about when it comes to music games. Led Zeppelin, once known as the “biggest band in the world” hardly needs the exposure.. They get played on the radio at least twice a day on every classic rock station in the world, and will continue to do so for the remainder of human history. But maybe it’s time for him to get with the times? Robert Plant is out winning Grammys for doing his own thing while Page is complaining about “those whippersnappers and their gol’durn newfangled electro boogie vidyuh-game devices”. Someone needs to calmly and carefully explain to this dude that f**king “Cream” magazine doesn’t exist anymore, and that “Rolling Stone” only covers Lady Gaga nowadays, amirite?

Jack White, who isn’t as old as Jimmy Page but wishes he was so that he could have more “street creed” also chimed in with his own personal tirade against arguably the most profitable sector of the music industry in the last decade:

“It’s depressing to have a label come and tell you that [Guitar Hero] is how kids are learning about music and experiencing music.” While he added that he doesn’t try to limit “which format people should get their music in…if you have to be in a video game to get in front of them, that’s a little sad. Also, I am afraid of Terminators and even my cell phone is analog.”

So here’s a guy that hasn’t made a good album since White Blood Cells in 2001, complaining about his label trying to sell more records for him by getting his music into video games so he never has to work another day in his life. Yeah that sucks dude! I totally feel you. You know what else sucks? Looking like a Jonathan Daivis’ gay little brother. What a f**ktard.

I don’t know if these people realize that the whole purpose for these kinds of games existing in the first place was (and still is) to give music fans the ability to experience their favorite music by actually participating in it instead of just passively listening to it. And it just so happens that in participating, you may discover that you actually quite like artists that you may have never given a chance before…

Just to put this in perspective, here is a short list of artists whose records or CDs I have bought in the last couple of years because I enjoyed playing their songs on Guitar Hero:

The Edgar Winter Group
Blue Oyster Cult
The Exies
David Bowie
Matthew Sweet
The Police
Kiss
The Pretenders
Valient Thor
Deathklok
Foreigner
Steely Dan
Fleetwood Mac
Dinosaur Jr.
Pat Benatar
Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band
Lynyrd Skynyrd
Creedence Clearwater Revival
Eagles

The best, most totally badical titles of the year!

By Jeremy Azevedo

This year was one of the best, if not the best year in gaming history. I probably spent more hours playing games this year than I did eating, sleeping and sh**ting combined.

Certainly a lot more than I spent doing anything constructive, like cleaning my house or feeding my pets or interacting with other living human beings. But it was worth the time expenditure to save (or destroy) Albion, the DC Ruins, Liberty City, etc. all summer and winter long. (The 1st and 3rd quarters are always a bit dry, even during the best year EVAR.) Otherwise how would I be qualified to tell you what the ten most radcool games of the year were, and why?

1. Fallout 3 (Multi-Platform)

This game has caused significant damage to my relationship and personal life, my sleep cycle and my Xbox, which had to be shipped to Microsoft this morning for repair due to overheating. It’s like a substance abuse problem cleverly disguised as a digital media disc. Even so, I can’t wait to start over from scratch and play through the game all over again with a different moral affinity and skill set. Everything about this game is near legendary in it’s execution, and the story kept me playing late into the night for like two months straight. Even so, I only managed to discover maybe 75% of the available people, places and things in the Wasteland. If you don’t have this game yet, get it. If you already have this game, play it again.

2. Rock Band 2/Guitar Hero World Tour (Multi-Platform)

I don’t care which one of these two games you like better, I’m tired of hearing you f**king nerds argue about it on the message boards to be perfectly honest. They are both pretty much the same game by the same programmers with only slightly different set lists. I happen to like them both quite a bit, as I have always wanted to play in a band but am too lazy and/or untalented to learn an instrument. Now I can have parties where I don’t even need to entertain people because all they want to do is fight over what song to play next and who is going to sing or play drums or whatever. Win!

3. Fable 2 (Xbox 360)

For all its promises, Fable 2 delivered a world only about half as alive as that of GTAIV and a protagonist only about half as customizable as that of Fallout 3. What it did have, however, was combat that was far superior to both of those games combined. It also had one of the most beautiful worlds in all of gaming in which to engage in said combat. Fable 2 is deeper and more fun than nearly any action RPG I have ever played, and not just because it lets me have a totally rad dog and get away with murder by paying a fine or agreeing to murder someone else on the behalf of the townspeople. (Although that certainly had quite a bit to do with my overall enjoyment of the game.) Bonus points are awarded for every time I bludgeoned some wench in the gulliver just for sassing me, bought her house or place of business for a bargain price, jacked up the rent on it and generally raped the economy for my own selfish gain. It’s like a Republican Party campaign contributor simulator! F yeah!

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Microsoft, EA, Rock Band and Guitar Hero News!

By Jeremy Azevedo

I’m sure many people were expecting to see Microsoft debut a 1st party motion controller today, due to the week long speculation surrounding the lightsaber-esque peripheral known as the “Darwin”.

Despite the fact that this turned out to be untrue, that didn’t stop Nintendo from making an official announcement the day before their actual press conference regarding a new controller add-on that promises to provide the Wiimote with absolutely accurate 1:1 virtual response. Wait, what?

I don’t know about you, but I already shelled out 40 bucks apiece for the goddamn Wiimotes and 20 bucks more for the nunchuck, which already pisses me off. Factor in the Wii charging stations and you’ve got the world’s most needlessly expensive controller. So why in the hell would I want to pay another 20-30 dollars for another add-on designed to make my Wiimote do what it was supposed to already do in the first place? Go fuck yourself Nintendo. You better show me a new Kid Icarus or something equally rad tomorrow or we’re not friends anymore.

So what did Microsoft debut today? There were a couple of presentations for eagerly awaited multi-platform games like Resident Evil 5, fallout 3, Guitar Hero World Tour and Rock Band 2 (more on those later). Exclusive titles Fable 2 and Gears of War 2 were also shown, although I always felt Gears was sort of the poor man’s Halo, so I couldn’t get that excited about it. I am super pumped about Fable 2 though, the original was one of my favorite games of the last generation, and I expect more of the same from the sequel.

The big news from Microsoft was that Final Fantasy XIII would be exclusive to the 360, which is a big surprise due to the fact that Final Fantasy has long been exclusive to Sony (and before that, Nintendo). Microsoft seems to be serious about developing an RPG following on their machine, something that has long been the Playstation’s secret weapon in the hardcore gaming market. But you know what game I was most excited about? Lips. Feel free to throw away your crappy Singstar collection, as Lips will allow you to upload and sing to any song in your personal collection. Sounds too rad to be true but that’s their claim. Ama-shizzle-azing.
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Metal band plays at disgraced author’s book signing!

By Jeremy Azevedo

Do you remember the author, James Frey, who wrote “A Million Little Pieces”, a memoir that became an Oprah book club selection? And then it turns out that a lot of the stuff in the book was made up? Well it turns out that Frey is still working, despite being shamed on live television, has a new book out, and loves metal!

But this isn’t really about James Frey, really, although it was maybe supposed to be. See, Frey had it in his mind that having a rock band play at his book reading would make the whole show more entertaining, and perhaps even endear him to a younger crowd. As such, he hired heavy metal band “Black Tide” to play at his show, which was a free, all ages event… at Whiskey A Go Go in Hollywood of all places.

Now I’m not trying to make broad generalizations here, but in my own personal experience, metal heads are not known to be the most literate of people. Especially teenage metal heads that live in or near Hollywood. It became apparent fairly early on that the majority of the “guests” in attendance were only there for a free metal show. Words cannot describe how awkward the question and answer period after Frey’s reading was, but I can tell you that his frustration with the crowd was clearly obvious. And the guy that went before him? He looked like he was going to jump out of the window, if there even was one.

Anyway, the moral of the story was that I had an interview with the band afterward, the results of which I have taken some minor liberties with in order to punch things up (In the style of James Frey, of course). Following is my account of that interview with Black Tide bassist Zakk Sandler, and guitarist Lexx Nunez.

Guitar Hero is the new Rock Band?

By Jeremy Azevedo

In an obvious bid to silence those that would accuse Activision of resting on it’s laurels while Rock Band evolves the music game genre far beyond the scope of Guitar Hero, The developer has made a shocking announcement in this month’s issue of Game Informer.

Apparently, the next installment of Guitar Hero will not only feature the addition of drums and vocals, but will also feature a six piece drum kit and a new guitar peripheral with an as-yet-unannounced new feature. No word yet on whether or not these new instruments will be compatible with Rock Band or vice-versa. But judging by the fact that the Rock Band drum kit is only a four piece, I’d say the chances are slim. I’d also say that both Activision and Harmonix are getting just a little bit carried away with all the goddamn controllers. How many more do they really expect consumers to buy?

Additionally, Guitar Hero 4 will allow greater customization of band members, logos, and instruments in-game. Of course, due to legal entanglements with former sponsor, Gibson, this may not include actual real-world instrument models. The really big news, though, is that this installment will raise the stakes one step further by allowing users to actually record their own music. That’s right, honest to goodness digital video game bands will soon be peddling their wares on MySpace. Obviously, Playstation 2 Guitar Heroes can suck it when it comes to actually uploading their custom creation on the web.

The only bands that have even a tentative confirmation for the game are Van Halen, The Eagles Linkin Park, Sublime and contest winners The Answer. No idea what songs will be featured yet, so don’t ask. You’re welcome to guess though!