Mongo Nation

Awesome, seizure inducing fighting action that’s EVEN MORE Japanese than you’re already used to!

By Jeremy Azevedo

Of all the games I’ve ever thought I’d see for sale exclusively on the Nintendo Wii, a hardcore Capcom fighting game, imported from Japan, featuring a roster of characters most people here have never heard of was not chief among them.

It was with great interest, then, that I followed the story of Capcom Vs Tatsunoko: Ultimate All Stars, a game that may turn out to be exactly what the Wii needs for a number of reasons. The Wii is a hard system to develop for because you have two totally different audiences, the casual and the hardcore. Capcom Vs Tatsunoko appeals equally to both, thanks to a remarkably flexible control scheme. Veterans and purists will want to opt for a traditional joystick, or maybe even a classic Gamecube controller. Newcomers, on the other had, can use the wand and nunchuck for an experience that is less “Street Fighter” and more “Super Smash Bros.”.

When playing with the standard Wii controller, all of you basic attacks are mapped to the A button button. Likewise, all of your special attacks are mapped the Z button. All you have to do is move the control stick in the direction of the move you want to perform and pull the trigger, i.e. up for a vertical attack, back for a feint attack and so on and so forth. The question that this raises is, can you really play a fighting game with dumbed-down controls like this? Apparently, yes, you can, and yes, it’s also super fun.

I myself am a longtime fan of the Capcom fighter, and while I initially balked at the simplified controls, I soon found that it opened up a whole new level of fast and frustration-free gameplay. No longer reliant on quarter circle turns, that occasionally don’t register, I was free to focus on my combos, as were my less-experienced opponents. Essentially, the barrier for entry has been lowered for n00bs, wile still allowing hardcore players to flex their skills the old-fashioned way. And the more I think about it, the more I feel like I’ve done all the shoryken motions that I ever need to, and am totally fine with being able to pull off special moves without getting blisters on my thumbs. I’m over it.

Moving on from the controls, the most important aspect of a “Capcom Vs” is always the character selection. In case you’re wondering what a “Tatsunoko” is, it’s a Japanese animation company responsible for such beloved classics as Speed Racer, Robotech, Samurai Pizza Cats and Neon Genesis Evangelion… None of which are represented in the game due to licensing rights, I’m assuming. Instead, we get a bunch of unknown characters from the 70s wearing skintight jumpsuits. Thankfully, what the Tatsunoko side lacks in distinguishing features, they more than make up for in wildly disparate fighting styles. Yatterman-1, for instance, looks like Vince Noir from “The Mighty Boosh” and bounces all over the screen kicking the shit out of you with a ball-in-a-cup. Meanwhile, Casshern plays defensive while his dog, “Friender”, eats your face.

Read the rest of this entry →

The best sci-fi/slasher/buddy comedy/exploitation/road picture of the decade thus far?

By Jeremy Azevedo

Anyone who knows me could tell you that I spend a great deal of my time watching relatively obscure movies. In my pursuit of those rare gems that get skipped over on account of everybody’s too busy watching “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra”. I most often find myself eyeball deep in some real shit.

The problem with most B movies is that they often realize halfway through production that the original idea wasn’t that great to begin with and just give up, resulting in a half-hearted mess. Either that or they try to hard to be an A picture because they don’t know their place. Oftentimes, the best that you can hope for is that the film would at least be unintentionally funny. But every once in awhile you see a B movie that is executed flawlessly by people that:

1. Understand the wants and expectations of the B movie audience and…
2. Actually have the chops to pull it off, without ever looking like they’re trying too hard, to appear is if the humor (intentional or not) came to them effortlessly, and to capture the spirit of fun that makes people want to make and watch these kinds of movies in the first place.

“Dahmer Vs. Gacy” is one such movie.

Directed by cult favorite Ford Austin, “Dahmer Vs Gacy” is, on the surface, a horror/comic take off on “Freddy Vs Jason”. You’ve got your two serial killing icons, you make up some excuse for them to exist in the same time and place, and you see what might happen when the two finally meet. As the kind of kid who collected serial killer trading cards to piss my parents off, I was quite pleased to see two of my “favorites” as the titular characters. And as a Guns N’ Roses fan, I gotta say I was pleasantly surprised to see original G N’ R drummer Steven Adler make a cameo as well!

Born in a lab as part of a secret military program to breed soulless super-killers, a freak accident allows the two maniacs to escape and go on a massive killing spree across America, ultimately culminating in the showdown that we are promised by the film’s title. Along the way, they garner the attention of a bloodthirsty media, in a nod to more “serious” (though some would argue, equally campy) serial killer fare like “Natural Born Killers”. They also attract the ire of Ringo, a holy soldier to whom God (voiced by Harland Williams) speaks to through the power of crazy, as well as a shit ton of ninjas.

Yes, ninjas. Read the rest of this entry →

You asked for a challenge, and you got one.

By Jeremy Azevedo

Borderlands was easily one of my favorite titles of the year, if not ever. Combining the loot collecting, RPG elements of Diablo with the shooter Gameplay of Halo has resulted in one of the most refreshing titles in ages. But as much as I loved “The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned”, this second DLC, “Mad Moxxi’s Underdome Riot poses a couple of problems for me.

The arena based combat that makes up the entirety of this add-on is nothing entirely new to Borderlands veterans. There are several instances in which you have had the opportunity to compete against waves of wasteland baddies throughout the main narrative. These have always served as a fun diversion, and it would make sense to have a chance to revisit them for one very simple reason: After a certain amount of time, your character and weapons will become too strong to be properly challenged.

Borderlands’ new leading lady, Mad Moxxi.

It’s too bad then, that The Underdome is just a little too goddamn hard. I hadn’t played Borderlands in a few weeks and was surprised at how rusty I had become. So that was my first problem. My second problem, and one that many people will experience, is that there wasn’t really anyone else playing it at the same time as I was.

With five rounds of five waves of enemies, there is absolutely no way in hell that a single person could make their way through it without playing in the first playthrough (in which the enemies are significantly less hardcore) with a full set of super-orange weapons and gear. And even then, you probably wouldn’t survive long, what with the rule changes that pop up between rounds. These could range from specific weapon damage bonuses to low gravity, spastic enemies, a health sapping vampire mode (which will be none too familiar to Soulcalibur vets) or playing “naked” (with no shields). Co-op play is not just encouraged here, it’s pretty much required.

Gearbox appears to have learned a little somethin’ from Dragon Age’s infamous “Warden’s Keep” DLC…

Once you get a team together, things get a lot more interesting. Instead of being shit out of luck when you die, you instead go to a “penalty box” for the duration of the round. From here, you can still snipe enemies and participate in a limited fashion, which is sorta fun. It reminds me of Super Bomberman back on the Super SNES. The difficulty on later playthroughs really tests your ability to play well and work as a team, which is something a lot of players wanted. Plus you get a “bank” to store your favorite gear, which is awesome, especially if you do a lot of trading with other players. And you can get a couple of skill points for your trouble, which gives you a very specific edge in PvP arenas and that. Read the rest of this entry →

Pandemic goes out on a good note with a great game.

By Jeremy Azevedo

I’m guessing that it probably had something to do with the demise of the developer about a month before launch, but there hasn’t been a whole lot of hype around the launch of The Saboteur… at least not that I’ve noticed. And it’s too bad, because this was easily one of my favorite titles of the year.

The first thing you’ll notice about The Saboteur is that it looks amazing. This is some of the best art design of any title this year. Taking place in Nazi occupied France during WWII, the local Parisians live under a n oppressive grey cloud that drains the color out of everything, save for a few bright red Nazi armbands, blue resistance scarves and yellow lamplights. Take back a neighborhood, and the color comes back along with the people’s will to fight. It’s all very cinematic, and the sound design follows suit quite nicely. You will not hear better voice work in any other game this holiday season, especially considering the numerous foreign accents on display here.

Visuals aside, The Saboteur may seem like a WWII-era GTAIV clone at first glance, with it’s open world environments, armed combat and driving Gameplay. Really though, it does virtually everything better. The sneaking ability isn’t the bullshit mechanic that stealth Gameplay usually is in videogames. It’s actually very useful (not to mention fun) stalking Nazis so you can take their uniform and walk right in through the front door. When it comes time to start shooting, the light cover mechanics and shooter Gameplay works like a charm. Even the driving is very intuitive, except for when you’re driving a tank. The tanks suck big time. Best of all, there were no cell phones during WWII so you don’t have all your douchebag “friends” constantly bothering you to go on boring and time-wasting play-dates. The only one good thing that GTAIV had that The Saboteur doesn’t were the cabs. There are times when you just can’t believe how long it takes to get from point A to point B. Some kind of fast-travel option would have been a grand addition.

The best part of The Saboteur, though, is the actual sabotage (naturally). Dynamite is cool, but once you get the triggered RDX, it’s a whole new ballgame. Even if it could possibly jeapordize my entire mission, I often can’t resist the urge to blow a Nazi watchtower, anti-aircraft gun or radar station ass-over-teakettle. And just wait until you get to start blowing up trains and zeppelins! If you like explosions, this game is like a pyromaniac’s dream.

When you aren’t sneaking up on Nazis, racing cars or blowing shit up, you’ll no doubt find yourself doing quite a bit of climbing. It would have been cool if the climbing was a little bit more like Assassin’s Creed, but I suppose that wouldn’t be terribly realistic. The climbing here can be a little time-consuming, but it’s well worth it when you can creep undetected into the heart of an enemy base and blow it to hell from the inside.

Even those of you that swore up and down that you’d never play another WWII game will enjoy the hell out of The Saboteur. It’s a very unexpected entry into the genre that wins a lot of points for originality… It’s sort of like playing a videogame version of Inglorious Basterds. Plus, there are titties in it. Id you like Ingolrious basterds, explosions and/or titties, then The Saboteur is definitely worth a try. I hope that the talented people of Pandemic go on to do more great games like this.

CraveOnline Rating: 8.5 out of 10 Unicorns Fighting a Robot Dolphin

+1 if you’ve been on the hunt for a really great “mad bomber” type game since “Mighty Bomb Jack” back in ’87.
-1 if you are a prude that is offended by the naked-y burlesque shows at the Belle de Nuit.

Is Avatar the visual masterpiece that was promised?

By Jeremy Azevedo

I’ve never really been a big believer of hype. As the marketing and P.R. tradesmen become more and more skilled with each passing year, it becomes impossible to differentiate genuine enthusiasm from outright lies.As a result, my initial response to hype generally ranges from distrust to outright hatred.

It doesn’t help James Cameron much that his last big film as a director was Titanic, an immensely successful but ultimately schmaltzy piece of work that few critics remember as fondly as the young girls that went in droves to see it back in ’97. It bears mentioning, however, that those same critics have a very short memory.

I don’t care what anyone has to say about James Cameron, this is the guy that gave us Terminator 1 and 2, The Abyss and Aliens. And let’s not forget that he also co-wrote and produced Point Break, for crissakes. For these achievements, Jim Cameron gets a lifetime pass and I’ll hear no backtalk about it. When you look at his body of work, what you see is a director that knows how to tell a simple story while simultaneously pushing the whole medium of filmmaking forward. Never content to follow in the footsteps of the effects trailblazers that came before him, each film introduce new technologies that change the way people make films. Avatar is the ultimate culmination of this desire to innovate, and (for once) was every bit as much of a leap forward as the hype would have you believe.

Remember this?

Many people that saw the initial trailers immediately dismissed Avatar as “Fern Gully Meets Robot Jocks”. And in some ways that’s a fair assessment, but it’s also a shortsighted one. For Avatar, new technology was developed that allowed Jim Cameron to employ a “virtual camera” that allowed him to see the actors rendered (in real time) as their Na’vi counterparts. The actors themselves were filmed in immense “Volumes” that allowed for total body capture while also wearing special head-rig cameras that recorded every subtle nuance of their facial features. This differs quite a bit from traditional methods of motion capture in that the final performance is exactly that of the actors. When you look at the performers on the screen, you do not see a CG animated character, you see an actor that just happens to be eight feet tall with cat eyes and blue peach fuzz. There is no “uncanny valley” and there is no disconnect.

Everything in Avatar is so beautifully detailed that it almost wouldn’t matter if there were any story or dialogue at all. The 3-D effect was likewise so subtle and spot-on that you had a feeling of actually being there. At one point, ashes were falling from above (on screen) and I caught myself brushing my shoulders off in my seat like some kinda jerkoff. That’s how immersed I was. In scenes that take place in the forest, you feel as if you can almost reach out and touch the foliage. When there is action on the screen (and there is a lot of action, I assure you), I can’t imagine that you’d be able to sit still in your chair unless you’re on some kind of barbiturates or something.

If being vaguely attracted to an 8ft tall, blue-skinned alien cat babe is wrong, than I don’t wanna be right.

There is probably not going to be any debate as to the merits of the visuals, which anyone would have to agree are impressive. So the question is, really, is the story any good? Some might call it heavy handed. It’s clearly a condemnation of man’s propensity to destroy nature in the pursuit of physical wealth, which has no real worth to people that are spiritually connected to the earth. And as much as I hate hippy stuff (anyone that knows me will tell you that I’d don riot gear and a billy club over a tie-dyed shirt and dreadlocks any day of the week), the unabashedly “green” message did resonate with me. And it’s not because it was hammered in to me, it was because I watched a main character that I related to come to the same realization that I did. Read the rest of this entry →