I really don’t know who Jodie Marsh is, nor do I care. What I do know, however, is that she appears to be famous for having some pretty insane tits:
Would you prefer “Global Colding”?
By Moses Amadeus
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Are you sick to death of hippies telling you how long your showers can be, telling you when to turn your lights off and trying to guilt you into driving those gay little electric cars around? I know I am. I don’t care how many soldiers have to kick the bucket so I can fill up my Escalade with liquefied dinosaur bones, I will never be caught dead in a “Prius”. |
Despite what John Q. Patchouli Oil has been telling you, global warming is not the apocalyptic disaster that Al Gore and his fellow recycling plant shareholders have been telling you it is. In fact, there are many ways in which we can all benefit form “Global Warming”!
A polar bear enjoying a relaxing dip in his new tropical home.
Jackets are expensive. Do you really want to spend hundreds of dollars every year on new jackets? Maybe you’re not as fashionable as I am, and you only buy one every other year. But even then, the cost of a new leather jacket, for instance, can range anywhere from $250-$1000! Not to mention the senseless slaughter of so many delicious cows.
Think of all the solar power! All that sunshine could all but eliminate our dependency on foreign oil, coal, wind power or whatever the hell it is that makes my 61-inch plasma screen TV with 7.1 surround sound turn on every night. The only downside is that we might have too much energy, and would then be forced to design newer, better ways to be wasteful. Who has time for that?
Let’s face it: Alaska is useless! What a gyp, all that land and we have to pay people to move there. All that oil and we can’t drill for it because of all the goddamn penguins or whatever. Well, thanks to global warming, Alaska might actually become useful! If you’re not a total idiot, you’ll start buying up property right now, because once the thaw sets in, Alaska will be our new Hawaii!
Hell F’ing yeah, Alaska!
Dune buggies are rad. Everybody knows that. When the whole Midwest becomes a desert, imagine the fun you’ll have traveling everywhere by dune buggy! We can all expect a 500% increase in sweet jumps and massive air in our near future, and I for one think that’s great news.
