One thing that I’ve always found amusing about the whole “Hot Chicks With Douchebags” phenomenon is that I suspect 90% of the dudes in the pictures never had a chance of scoring with the babes they are photographed with.
More likely than not, they saw the hot babe, handed their camera to their orange skinned, shiny-shirted friend and said (and feel free to say this in your head in a Persian or foreign sounding accent)“Yo B-Ro, take a picture of me with this fine lady, ok?” And then the chick’s all like “ehhh…” but the dude takes the picture anyway and it ends up on the Internet and the guy’s like (now say this one with a New Jersey accent) “Brooooo… I totally like f**ked that chick riiiiight?!” And their mom or whoever is within earshot laughs and is all like, “No you didn’t”.
The reason why I presume this to be the case is because:
A.) I cannot believe in a god that would allow a chick like this to put out for a guy like that while perfectly good dudes out there are going without box everyday.
Exhibit A
And…
B.) I saw this exact situation unfold literally dozens, maybe even hundreds of times at this year’s E3.
Don’t believe me? Well, it just so happens that I have evidence to support my claim. So please enjoy this gallery of Hot Chicks With Video Game Dorks from E3 2009:
She’s totally gonna burn that sweater when she gets home. You just know it.
More reasons why you sorta missed out by not watching!
#10 Erin Densham
Austrialia
Triathalon
This chick can outrun you, outswim you, out-cycle you (I know, who cares right?) and probably outdrink you too, considering that she’s Australian and all!
Did she win?
Nope!
#9 Alona Bondarenko
Ukraine
Tennis
Comes from a family of tennis stars, has two hot sisters that she usually plays doubles with. (Just not with you.)
They could vault my pole anytime! # 10 Amy Acuff
High Jump
This beanpole’s interests include jumping over stuff, being hella tall and posing nude with alarming frequency!
#9 Jennie Finch
Softball
Unfortunately married to some asshole named “Daigle” or something, but is embarrassed to take his name. I don’t blame her. Read the rest of this entry →
