Midgets vs. Mascots 0
Gary Coleman bitch-slapping a giant ice cream cone in public? Where do I sign up?
Recipe for a surefire cult classic:
- Step 1: Hire Gary Coleman, Scotty Pippin, Jason Mewes, Ron Jeremy, about a dozen midgets and an equal number of professional mascots in funny animal costumes.
- Step 2: Videotape them competing in insane challenges in a faux documentary about a bunch of assholes trying to get their mitts on a dead midget/mascot’s bequeathed inheritence.
It’s sorta like Fight Club, only Brad Pitt is a midget and Ed Norton is a fat guy dressed like a Spartan.
- Step 3: Throw in a handful of gratuitous nudity just for the hell of it.
- Step 4: ???
- Step 5: Profit!
If you don’t think Midgets Vs. Mascots sounds even moderately entertaining, then there must be something wrong with you. Seriously, you’ve got Gary Coleman making self-referential jokes about himself while a dude wrestles an alligator, dressed like an alligator. Then someone farts, followed by a hot chick taking off her shirt for no goddamn reason as a midget kicks the shit out of a guy in a bunny suit. It’s virtually made of win.
This hot chick is neither a midget nor a mascot, not that anyone will care.
Check out the (vaguely NSFW) trailer right here and see for yourself what I’m talking ’bout, Willis:
Midgets Vs Mascots was a huge hit on the festival circuit and is sure to find an even greater audience of Cheeto-fingered, bong ripping college students, the unemployed and online journalists on DVD. You can order a copy now at MidgetsVsMascots.com, complete with a bonus pack of midget condoms, which are, as one might expect, hilariously small. Which is funny because if adult films have taught me anything, it’s that midgets are at least as big as Asian dudes.
