Metallica: Live in Los Angeles 0
Holy crap is that Donald Sutherland?
 By Steven Busch |
I recently saw Metallica perform live. It was the first time I had seen Metallica, so I was pretty excited. I showed up late missing both the opening bands, The Sword and Machine Head, both of which I might have been thrilled to see under normal circumstances. |
The only thing on my mind was the mighty Metallica.
Upon walking in, I noticed a few things, the first being that there was a noticeable lack of attractive women. I had figured that, what with the watering down of Metallica’s songs as of late, this would open them up to more of an early-twenties, sorority girl crowd. Boy was I wrong… A handful of the run-of-the-mill, chubby teen girls, with Cannibal Corpse or Metallica T-shirts were about the only females under drinking age. There were also a few Midwest looking, chewed up and spit out, peroxide blonde chicks roaming around, fake boobs in the lead.
Some hambeasts at the show.
I also noticed that the beer stands were very few and far between, and damn it all to hell, they closed at 10 o’clock, only half way through Metallica’s two-hour set. Bullshit! Not only were there no garish 80s throwback chicks (like I’d assumed there would be), but I only got to drink 2 beers! Double bullshit.
Another thing I noticed were the endless kids running around in Metallica shirts. Did someone forget to send this generation the following memo:
“Don’t Wear The Shirt Of The Band You Are Going To See”
I was milling through an endless sea of slovenly teens, who appear to have been wearing their early 2000’s era Metallica shirts all week long, as if someone was going to pick them out of the crowd and greet them with, “Hey dude, nice shirt!” FAIL!!!! Every asshole here is wearing that shirt you f**ktard!
Metallidorks.
When I get to my seat, I take a look around. There are a few milfs here and there, a mother/daughter in front of us (the daughter screamed when they played “Nothing Else Matters”, but sat bored for a good portion of the show) and various kids and normal looking people. Just as the band breaks into a boisterous rendition of “Four Horsemen” two old people come pushing their way down the isle.
