Mongo Nation

Video from the ‘Malice N Wonderland’ album release.

Words and pictures by Ahmad Childress

Recently in Hollywood Snoop Dogg held an album release party for his new album, Malice N Wonderland. Snoop was not the only one celebrating though, it was also the 10th Anniversary Celebration for Travis Barker’s Famous Stars & Stripes clothing line. We went to the red carpet and talked to B-Real, Bizzy Bone, QD III, DJ Paul and others.

Photos from the event:

Famous people anonymously reveal their darkest, most humiliating secrets!

By Jeremy Azevedo

Many of you are no doubt familiar with “PostSecret”, an ongoing community art project that encourages people to write their darkest and/or most embarrassing secrets on the backside of a homemade postcard, and then send it in the mail to PostSecret creator (and probable misery fetishist) Frank Warren.

Our field reporter Pete Pelmo is certainly a fan; He routinely roots through Frank’s mail looking for slutty post cards from damaged women that have return addresses on them. On one of his most recent expeditions, Pete Pelmo discovered a treasure trove of what appears to be celebrity post secrets! Not that we’re terribly surprised… Celebrities feed on attention like parasites and love talking about themselves above all else. However, some of these confessions are actually pretty shocking! See if you can guess which post cards are from whom! Answers are written backwards beneath the cards:

Answer:Nilessog Noj

Answer:Iksnalop Namor

Answer:Yrrep Relyt Read the rest of this entry →

Safe for work, as long as you don’t handle any heavy machinery

Our friends at On Her Cam hipped us to this chick Carmen, who is a famous cam girl for a couple of reasons… Both of which are her enormous 32E (!) roundies, which she assures us are 100% natural. I don’t really know anything else about her other than that she also claims to be 22, is of mixed ancestry and that she’s looks sort of like a hotter Kim Kardashian with an even bigger rack. Great job!

Carmen’s “Pin-Up” set:

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All the public humiliation that made us smile this year!

By Jeremy Azevedo

It’s time once again to look back on another year of embarrassing public displays of FAIL on the part of this great nation’s headline-grabbing celebritards!

They say that the price of fame is the scrutiny that the public holds you to: These ten celebrities made it worth our while to watch them this year as they self destructed before our very eyes, teaching us all a valuable lesson about the dangers of strutting around all over the goddamn place like some kind of egomaniacal human peacock, and also making Harvey Levin (who also has it coming, btw) very rich.

Christian Bale

It doesn’t matter how much money “The Dark Knight” made this year, it won’t change the fact that Christian Bale damn near ruined it with his retarded growling voice thing. Perhaps due to all the critics having a go at him for this, Christian got so butthurt that he took it out on his mom and sister by beating the shit out of them. When asked for a comment, Bale simply replied, “Ahhhhgggggmmmm Bhhhaaaaattttttttmmmmuuuuuaaaggghhhnnn-agh!”

David Duchovny

So, here’s a guy that goes to rehab to treat a “sex addiction”, even though there doesn’t appear to have been any kind of extramarital affair going on. You know what that means… He’s a jackmaster! Good luck ever looking at David “Baloney Bopper” Duchovny again without picturing him sitting in front of his computer, pants around his ankles, beating off to goldenshowerjuggs.com or whatever, six or seven times a day.

Hilary Clinton

She tried to run for president of the United Sates, even though she’s a woman, lol!
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WTF? No, no seriously, WTF?!

By Moses Amadeus

Goddamnit, I can’t believe that half of these mongoloids actually pay someone to make them look like this. I understand that it must be difficult to dress for an award show honoring music videos on a network that doesn’t show music videos…

…Not everyone can pull off the “ironically soulless commercialism” look with a matching fake smile and vapid political statement. Plus, there’s a certain morbidity to celebrating the death of something, violating it’s corpse and then pissing on the memory of it amirite?

Well, attempts were made, most of which ended up in abject failure. To help lighten things up, I’ve gone to the trouble of helping some of these losers make better decisions at their next award show/telethon/coke party or whatever by suggesting a place in which their various terrible outfits might have been more appropriate. Enjoy!

Ludacris is looking kinda like a valet in that get-up. Did Luda “MC Hammer” all his money away already or what?

Pink looks like the top of a goddamn circus tent, no joke.

I’m pretty sure I saw Lindsay Lohan wearing that outfit whilst working the bar at the Hard Rock in Vegas. Read the rest of this entry →