Welcome to Mario in the Morning, the premiere morning talk show in Videoland, starring your host, Mario!
Todays guest is Donkey Kong, whos here to talk about this book, Monkey or Man, Deconstructing the Discourse of the Modern American Primate. Also, Master Chief: Master Chef, Groupie Hero and Toad with the weather!
Brought to you by Danger Shark.
Check out our favorite and least favorite picks!
So our friends over at AskMen.com just announced the winners of their incredibly popular “99 Most Desirable Women” list. As a connoisseur of fine, top-shelf celebrity babes, we were quick to peruse the listing so that we could argue with them about which ones we did and didn’t agree with. Here are our top (and bottom) three picks from the list:
Agree: Christina Hendricks
Red hair, huge knocks, Mad Men. What other reasons do you need? Last night I saw Joan Rivers, Ghouliana Ransick, token gay guy and China Kardashian trashing Hendricks’ dress at the Golden Globes, and all I could think was “really?” Those misfits were trying way too hard to find a flaw in this chick when clearly there isn’t one.
Disagree: Angelina Jolie
I get it. I remember when she was hot too. I saw Gia. But now she’s a withered old hippy and I’m over it. It’s 2010, not 1999… Let’s get on with our lives and direct our attention to getting Blake Lively or someone under 50 into getting naked onscreen for once. Read the rest of this entry →
We talk to creative director Joe Madureira and check out a sexy horse-riding contest!
Darksiders is a new action/adventure title from THQ that we’re pretty excited about. Especially after attending the premiere party in Agoura Hills to check out the game for ourselves. It plays sort of like a cross between “God of War” (which is what I compare all action games to now because I am unimaginative) and “The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction”. In Darksiders, you play as War, one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Basically, someone started the Armageddon without you, and you’re tasked with killing your way across a post-apocalyptic world to find out who dicked up the master plan and why.
A welcome alternative to the usual spry Little Mac action hero, War is a tank that bashes pissant enemies to mush with his swords and guns and even crushes them under the hooves of his trusty steed, Ruin. Even the bigger enemies feel sort of equal measure to War, which is not to say that they are easy, but rather that you actually feel like you are in a fight as opposed to constantly playing David & Goliath throughout the entire game like many similar titles will force you to do.
We talked to creative designer and comic legend Joe Madureira about his designs for the game and why you should buy tons of copies. It had something to do with making him unimaginably rich, if I remember correctly. While we were there, we also had the good fortune to check out a sexy horse-riding contest! Or more specifically, sexy girls riding a mechanical horse. Not “sexy horses”. That would be weird. Check it out!
Official Darksiders trailer:
We have photos of the stars of the new film, Bitch Slap.
Bitch Slap is one of the best cult movies I’ve seen this year, for six very good reasons. Can you spot them in the photo below?
“Bitch Slap” is the story of 3 hot babes that stole some diamonds or something, not that it matters. There is a story here with secret agents, gangsters, double-crossing and a “Memento”-style plot rewind, but the crux of the film is watching these broads beat the shit out of each other, then make out, than beat the shit out of each other again (in slow motion). As an appetizer to the film, which will be in theaters January 8th, we’ve got some pics of the film’s three sexy stars for your one-handed viewing enjoyment.
LA Kings promote ice hockey with a bikini calendar? I’ll take it!
The LA Kings Ice Girls have a bikini calendar out this month. I’m not sure what bikinis and beaches have to do with ice hockey, but I’m certainly not complaining.
Like most American’s, I don’t watch hockey so I wouldn’t have known about this if it weren’t for my good friend Stephanie Tanner, whose job it is to skate around between periods and clean slush off the ice in a skimpy outfit while Canadian expats whistle at her through the gaps in their teeth.
Stephanie Tanner, not in any way related to the fictional character, Stephanie Tanner, of “Full House” fame.
Check out the behind the scenes video from the photo shoot, it’s actually pretty hawt:
Buy your own copy of the LA Kings Ice Crew Jackoff Calendar on their official website, and also be sure to read all the girl’s bios so you can know all kinds of personal information about them when you stalk them in the parking lot outside the arena this season! Yeah!
