Craigslol
All the best wholly original material from my other site, Craigslol.com!
For sale: Gameboy necklace
Free flattop haircut with every purchase. For details, please contact Steve Urkel’s cooler twin cousin, Stephan Ur-Kel.
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1254504611
To the guy that ruined my Halloween party last year:
Reply to: blog-1254504585@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-09-21, 7:25PM America/Chicago
Category: Funny, Images, Missed Connections, Rants & Raves, Sexy
Dude, your costume was the most disgusting thing anyone had ever seen. I didn’t get laid for like two months after you came to my Halloween party, and I live in a house with four slutty college chicks. You could hear their pussies snapping shut audibly when you entered the room. I hope you got a good chuckle out of it, at least.
Fuck you,
Dave from Encino
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PostingID: 1254504585
4 Hot Lesbians Seek 1 Lucky Dude to Join in the Fun! No Strings Attached!
Reply to: blog-1250209493@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-08-12, 6:35PM America/Chicago
Category: Sexy, W4M, Wanted
Just kidding! You sure are gullible though, you fucking pervert.
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1250209493
Ultraman seeks other Ultramen to fight giant rubber dinosaurs with
Reply to: blog-1250209455@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-08-03, 8:30PM America/Chicago
Category: Funny, Images, M4M, Sexy, Weird
For years I have felt like I was the only Ultraman in the world… Until I saw this.
I don’t know where or what this is, but it has given me hope that somewhere out there, there is another Ultraman for me.
Me: silver, red and blue, featureless, with glowing yellow eyes and a burning desire to karate kick giant monsters in the fucking teeth the moment they step foot in my neighborhood.
You: silver, red and blue, featureless, with glowing yellow eyes and a burning desire to karate kick giant monsters in the fucking teeth the moment they step foot in your neighborhood.
Are you out there Ultraman? Let’s fight dinosaurs/loneliness together! ULTRAAAAA!
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1250209455
Fergie Has a Dick
Reply to: blog-1249062782@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-07-29, 4:03PM America/Chicago
Category: Funny, Images, Sexy
I just don’t know how else you would explain this, unless she was maybe wearing a diaper or something, or maybe the world’s largest maxi-pad or whatever. Probably a dick though. MAKE ME UNSEE IT!
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1249062782
I just figured out who Madonna looks like now…
Reply to: blog-1249062867@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-07-27, 7:25PM America/Chicago
Category: Funny, Images, Missed Connections, Rants & Raves, Sexy
Ok so check this out:
Now (if you haven’t already gouged your fucking eyes out) check this out:
See the resemblance? HOLY SHIT she’s a motherfucking Gremlin amirite?!
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1249062867
Found: Carmen Sandiego!
Reply to: blog-1249062889@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-07-27, 7:21PM America/Chicago
Category: Lost and Found
There that bitch is! I been looking all over the world for that ho. Looks older than I expected but that’s life, I guess.
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1249062889
To the Radioactive Toxic Waste Babe in the Lake Behind My House
Reply to: blog-1249062911@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-07-25, 12:45PM America/Chicago
Category: M4W, Missed Connections, Sexy
Hi, you probably don’t remember me, but we met last Friday while I was fishing for mudsharks at Pisswater Lake in Jersey. I was wearing a trucker cap that says “I fuck on the first date” and a stylish pair of rubber coveralls. Anyway, you were like, melting or something and glowing all radioactive and shit, and I feel like we sort of made eye contact for a minute before I screamed like a ten year old girl at a Jonas Brothers Concert and booked it right the fuck out of there. Later, I was kicking myself for not introducing myself, so I hope this message finds you somehow, that you haven’t turned into a puddle of lake polluting toxic sludge, and also that you still have my fishing pole that I left there in my haste. Call me!
Toxic Lover in Jersey
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PostingID: 1249062911
Try the shakes!
Reply to: blog-1249062925@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-07-25, 12:30PM America/Chicago
Category: Funny
The shakes, Michael J wants you to try them.
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1249062925
Fembot seeking repair shop
Reply to: blog-1249062943@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-07-22, 2:52PM America/Chicago
Category: Advice, Services, Sexy
Some SOLM (Shaquille O’Neal Looking Motherfucker) appears to have tore up this perfectly good fembot. Anyone know where I could get it serviced so that I can get serviced?
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1249062943
Free- Health bars for dying kids
Reply to: blog-1249063361@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-07-20, 3:26PM America/Chicago
Category: Advice, Educational, Images
I thought this might make it easier to know which ones not to get too attached to whilst volunteering at the pediatric hospital.
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1249063361
This shirt is even more awesome than the 3-Wolf Moon Shirt
Reply to: blog-1249063028@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-07-17, 1:55PM America/Chicago
Category: Wanted
Someone fucking buy me this shirt right now. I don’t care who, and I don’t care why, just do it plzkthx.
I’d also accept this shirt without complaint:
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PostingID: 1249063028
Hey Toad FUCK YOU
Reply to: blog-1249063062@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-07-16, 12:36PM America/Chicago
Category: Rants & Raves
I just realized that everytime you tell me the Princess is in another castle, you’re pretty much flipping me off. There’s no mistaking it. Well fuck you too, you little prick. Next time you can save your own fuckin’ Princess, jerkoff.
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1249063062
Jesus Stole My Snuggie
Reply to: blog-1249063081@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-07-14, 8:07PM America/Chicago
Category: Lost and Found, Rants & Raves
Fucking give it back, asshole.
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1249063081
Beer Pong – Missed Connection!
Reply to: blog-1249063115@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-07-09, 1:26PM America/Chicago
Category: Funny, M4W, Missed Connections
Dude, like, we totally had a “thing” going over beer pong at that party over the weekend am I right? We were throwing me the vibe so hard I almost dove across the table and fucked you right then and there, but then my team lost and some asshole pushed me in the pool… If I’d have seen ‘em coming I woulda busted their faggot ass, fuckin’ A! But I didn’t, and when I was dried off and ready to come find you so I could hit that, you were already gone! Bullshit!
I don’t remember what you’re face looks like or anything because I spent the whole game looking at your amazing rack. Fuckin’ alpha! WHOO! I’ll bet you remember what I look like though, because I’m so fucking rad: Hella tan, Ed Hardy shirt… you can totally tell that I work out. Hit me up so I can make all your fantasies come true, you fucking cock tease slut! YEAH! -BuckCherryFan420
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PostingID: 1249063115
To the asshole that installed my chandelier…
Reply to: blog-1249063151@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-06-24, 3:18PM America/Chicago
Category: Missed Connections, Rants & Raves, Services
Nice going, you prick. My wife has been laughing her stupid goddamn head off all week over this. Next time I’ll install it myself.
If I ever see you again, I’m gonna return this to you right where it belongs. You better start stretching your butthole now, jerkoff.
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PostingID: 1249063151
WTF are these?
Reply to: blog-1249063167@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-06-23, 6:02PM America/Chicago
Category: For Sale, Lost and Found
No, seriously, what the fuck are these things?
I found these miniature abominations underneath my porch yesterday afternoon. If you know what they are and don’t want to throw up at the sight of them, you are welcome to have them.
Hurry and claim these tiny pink monstrosities before I’m forced to try and feed them to my neighbors snake again. (The first time I tried to do this, the snake chewed his way through the glass in his tank in horror, but he hasn’t really eaten anything since then so maybe he won’t be so picky this time.)
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PostingID: 1249063167
Missing: 10 Kilos of Cocaine, Hidden Inside of Dead Sharks. Reward!
Reply to: blog-1249063194@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-06-18, 5:00PM America/Chicago
Category: Lost and Found
Hi! I seem to have miss-placed several kilos of cocaine that were stuffed inside of dead sharks (don’t ask, lol!). I’d really like to have it back! If anyone has any information as to the whereabouts of my stash, please call (number removed at the request of original poster) and ask for “Carlo”. If you are the one that took my shit in the first place, please meet me under the boardwalk (unarmed) at midnight to claim your “reward”. Be sure to come alone or the deal’s off!
Oh and P.S., if you steal any of it or fuck any of my dead sharks, I’ll cut your fucking head off! That’s my shit mothafucka!
Thanks again,
“Carlo”
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1249063194
Dear Megan Fox: WTF, Didn’t You See Me?
Reply to: blog-1249063207@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-06-17, 3:09PM America/Chicago
Category: Missed Connections, Sexy
What the fuck? Too good to take my goddamn flower? Tell you what: Next time I’m gonna give you shoryuken right in the tits! How’s that sound?
(P.S. I still went home and beat off to your pics in last month’s Esquire, so I’m willing to forgive you in exchange for some noodz or maybe a handjobber when I turn 18.)
Love,
Your biggest fan,
Pete Pelmo
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PostingID: 1249063207
My Son’s Penis Problem
Reply to: blog-1249063265@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-06-15, 2:03PM America/Chicago
Category: Funny, Missed Connections, Sexy
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1249063265
OK… that last one was fucking disturbing… Crazy hook-dick-son having bitch!
December 23rd, 2009 at 6:39 am