Farewell, CraveOnline Readers!
It’s been real… It’s been fun… And dare I say it may have even been REAL FUN?!
By Jeremy Azevedo
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Well, CraveOnline fans, I’m afraid I have bad news for you: Your favorite (?) writer and video producer, Jeremy Azevedo, is leaving, and he’s taking all of his multiple personalities with him. |
That means no more Moses Amadeus, Pete Pelmo, Karate Chimp, The Most Pissed-Off Dude in the World, Creepy Office Guy, Ted Hucklebuck, Chest Rockwell, Stretchnuts, Dr. Science, Junkyard or BuckCherryFan420, either. I know; it’s like a national tragedy.
I’ll give you a moment to grieve.
All finished?
Good. Now dry your eyes and let’s take a walk down memory lane shall we? I’ve compiled a list of some of my best articles, videos and top 10 lists from my time here, so the 12 of you that actually read my stuff on a regular basis can maybe squeeze one last chuckle out of them before they’re lost to the void. Yeah!
(And P.S.: If any of you are at all interested in following me where I go next, feel free to email me at jeremyazevedo@yahoo.com)
Now, without further ado, here are the top 10 greatest hits from the 2007-2010 era of CraveOnline, henceforth to be referred to as the “Golden Era”:
How Do I Know If I Am A Hipster? - (Maybe the best thing I’ve ever written)
Jerkoffs You Are Sure to Meet in Art School - (And I should know, I was one. An art student, I mean)
An AIM Convo Between The Ultimate Warrior and Lindsay Lohan - (I’m still not convinced that this didn’t actually happen)
Really Bad Gifts to Give Your Co-Workers - (My favorite holiday-themed post!)
Celebrity PostSecrets Intercepted! - (One of my better Photoshoops)
Harry Potter to Appear in Every Movie, Retroactively - (More Photoshoop fun!)
Empire of the Sun: Walking on a Dream - (Probably my best album review, ever)
The Secret Millionaire’s Playbook Intercepted! - (I think I wrote this one in response to the bailout)
Millions of American Males Lining Up To Be Rejected By Megan Fox - (And yet, she keeps getting back with that dude…)
How to RAWK - (I’d like to point out that this pre-dates “Jersey Shore” by a year)
- Next page: Top 10 Videos of The Golden Era
- Next, next page: Top 10 Top 10 Lists of The Golden Era
Top 10 Original Videos (Of The Golden Era)
Taco the Town: John Oates - (I still have the signed Hall & Oates record from this interview hanging on my wall)
Scrubs: A XXX Parody Interview - (My first visit to an actual porno set!)
The Scoop: David Faustino and Corin Nemec - (Otherwise known as “Bud Bundy” and “Parker Lewis”)
Lets Go Flying! - (I learned to fly a plane in one day for this one)
The Punching Show: The Complete Series - (I don’t know why I ever stopped doing this show)
DaveTodd’s SuperFun Awesome Show - (Watching a bit too much “Tim & Eric” around this time…)
Taco the Town: Datrock - (One of the first, and best, Taco the Town interviews)
Zombie Marathon -(Obligatory zombie entry)
Best of the Web: Comic Con Edition! -(Ripping on people at Comic Con is like shooting fish in a hilarious barrel)
Bacon Salt - (A relic from the ol’ infomercial days)
- Next page: Top 10 Top 10 Lists of The Golden Era
Top 10 Top 10 Lists, Because You Guys All Love Top 10 Lists So Much (Of The Goldern Era)
And don’t try to lie, either. I’ve seen the traffic numbers. I also know about all the dirty things you’ve been looking at on here, but we’re not here to discuss that at this time.
Top 10 Lame, Rejected Transformers - (They can’t all be Optimus Prime, can they?)
The 10 Commandments of Movie Quoting - (This article is actually half-serious)
5 Things I Never Knew About Sgt. Slaughter - (And I thought I knew a lot to begin with…)
Top 10 Trends From the 90s That I Hope Stay in the 90s - (And yet, like pets buried in a Native American burial ground, they keep coming back)
Top 10 Mustaches Of All Time - (Something for us all to aspire to)
10 Lazy Game Design Cliches That Piss Me Off - (Had to squeeze one of my gaming articles in there somewhere)
Top 10 Reasons Why Global Warming is Awesome - (I think I make a pretty solid case in favor)
Top 10 Ways to Make Your Girlfriend Break Up With You - (Great advice for sociopathic dudes)
Ten Reasons Why Being Broke Rocks! - (More recession humor for you)
Five 80s Sitcoms that Were Bitchen But Could Be… Bitchener? - (A tip for you fellow writers out there: Nostalgia = Easy page views!)
And that’s it! I’m sure there were many more that I forgot but have other fish to fry, so to speak (because of my new job as a Long John Silvers fry cook). Hope you enjoyed reading/watching with me and I’ll see you in hell!
Your pal,
-Jeremy
