Mongo Nation

Another totally alpha review by your main bro, BuckCherryFan420

By BuckCherryFan420

Hey dudes! It’s your bro BuckCherryFan420! Those fags at CraveOnline hired me to do a review of this new Creed album. Fuckin’ A! Creed’s that old-ass band where the lead singer made a sex tape with MY NIGGA Kid Rock (big ups!). You know, the Jesus Guy.

I saw that video! It’s fucking alpha bro! Those dudes are like T.F.ing these big titty sluts and the Jesus Guy is all like “It’s good to be the king” or some shit. Fuck yeah it is, bro! And the chick is all like, “Mwagh mubba mraghgra!” Because her mouth is like, full of cock, right! HAHAHA! If I had a dollar for every time some bitch said “Mwagh mubba mraghgra” to me I’d be like a billionaire or some shit. It’s too bad that being ALPHA in real life doesn’t make you, like, good at music and stuff.

Are you fucking kidding me, bro?

Creed the band is pretty crushing, and Jesus Guy sound pretty tough and shit, like his voice or whatever. But all their songs are like these wussy ballads. It’s BULLSHIT! If you’re gonna fucking rock in real life, punching people out and making sex videos and shit, why doesn’t the music, like, reflect that and shit. It’s a fucking waste bro. It makes me sick listening to all this faggy bullshit and thinking about how totally bitchen’ this shit could be if homedude would just SACK THE FUCK UP! WHOOO! I should be the fuckin’ singer of this band dude. They’d be all like crushing and shit and I’d be the one making a sex tape with Kid Rock. Wait, that sounded gay. Not like, with him, with him, bro. Don’t fuckin’ get it twisted just because you’re all a bunch of homos. I’M ALL MAN, BRO! Fuck you!

I don’t want to talk about this Creed shit anymore. They get a score of like, 5 out of 10 Buckcherrys for this “Full Circle” bullcrap and that’s fuckin’ it, for them, bro.

Now let’s take a look at this motherfuckin’ Saw VI soundtrack. I love those fuckin’ movies bro! WHOOO! In case you’re like a pussy that doesn’t watch scary movies because you’re too scared and like, shit your pants all the time and probably have a vagina, Saw is like this movie about people that get killed by having their faces ripped off or like sawing their own dick off and shit like that. It’s fuckin’ crazy, bro. This album is just like the movie! It’s like, SUPER fuckin’ brutal. But then there’s like these moments that make you think and stuff in there too. Not too many though: If I sat around thinking all the time, I wouldn’t have arms like nuclear fuckin’ bombs dude! Maybe you bitches should try thinking less and working out more, so you could be more alpha like me! But then, WHOSE GIRLFRIEND WOULD I DATE RAPE AT THE CLUB BRO? HAHAHA! Someone needs to be the pussy so that I have someone to take my steroid rage out on and shit. FUCKIN’ A! That person is you, pencil dick!

It doesn’t work this way in real life, brosef.

This is the most metal soundtrack since, like, ever bro! Hatebreed, Suicide Silence, Chimaira… These are all bands that I’ve never heard of! But holy fuck are they hella BRUTAL or what?! Damn son, I am getting so pumped up listening to this shit bro. I wanna saw my own dick off! WHOOO! HAHAHA Just kidding dudes, I would never fucking EVER do that. Too many ladies would be hella sad about that shit brosefinas. And you know how I love to please the ladies! WHOOO! BUCKCHERRY FOR LIFE!

This SAW VI soundtrack is hella tight bro. None of these bands have cool style like Buckcherry and I can’t really tell what the fuck they’re talking about half the time. They sound like barking dogs and shit… Sorta like DMX or Lil’ Jon if they were like, white dudes or whatever. But at least they know how to shred and sound all hard and shit so that’s pretty cool. There’s even, like, this one band that’s all like hot metal chicks. They’re called “Kittie” or some shit like that. That’s fuckin’ HAWT bro! Know what I’m saying? I’d like to tame that fuckin’ kittie, broham. (I’m talking about their pussies, dude! Yeah!) I’d probably even let them listen to their shitty girl metal while I WRECK THAT SHIT too! ALPHA TO THE MAXXX! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The Saw VI Soundtrack is like 8 out of 10 Buckcherrys, brohams.

-1 for not actually having Buckcherry on it for some reason.
+1 for having a picture of this hot bitch in like a dress made out of needles and shit on the inside. Fucking ALPHA bro! I’d hit that! WHOOO!