Mongo Nation

Hotter than “A Suicide Girls President’s Day” I can tell you that much.

Halloween is our favorite holiday. Christmas is pretty good, because you get presents and everything. And the food is great on Thanksgiving. But only on Halloween do hundreds of thousands of women use the day as an excuse to dress up in the sluttiest, trashiest, most provocative costumes they can find and walk the streets without fear of judgment!

Whoever the genius was that started this trend should be awarded Sainthood or given a medal or something.

The Suicide Girls are, of course, not at all immune to Halloween’s sexy charms. (Not that the Suicide Girls needed any excuse to dress up in slutty outfits or anything.) So celebrate the spirit of Halloween with us by doing exactly what you would’ve been doing anyway: Ogling hot chicks in skimpy costumes.

Horror Movie Vaguely Horrific Family Movie this makes me think of: Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
Associated pervy quote: Congratulations, you found the golden ticket! (To my pants)

Horror Movie this makes me think of: The Stuff
Associated pervy quote: The Stuff: Are you eating it or am I eating you? Um… I mean, or is it eating you? Yeah.

Horror Movie this makes me think of: The Dentist
Associated pervy quote: I hope all that Pez candy didn’t rot your teeth out, because you’ll need ‘em to fetch a good price at my 3rd annual “Black Market/White Slave Auction!

Horror Movie this makes me think of: Return of the Living Dead 3
Associated pervy quote: A little blood never hurt anyone. Just throw down an old towel or something so you two don’t mess up my sheets!

Horror Movie TV Show this makes me think of: The Simpsons: Treehouse of Terror
Associated pervy quote: F**k cereal, when you stay the night at my place, I’ll let you make me pancakes!

Horror Movie this makes me think of: John Carpenter’s The Thing
Associated pervy quote: Playing with your food eh? If you’re gonna play with something, why not play with this? (Points to the ol’ “meat and potatoes” suggestively)

Horror Movie this makes me think of: Hard Candy?
Associated pervy quote: I’ll trade you a “pearl necklace” for your candy one!

Horror Movie this makes me think of: Hannibal
Associated pervy quote: Why eat brain when you can give it? Oh yeah!

Horror Movie this makes me think of: Beetlejuice
Associated pervy quote: Take off all your clothes and say “Beetlejuice” three times into a mirror. Know what’ll happen? Nothing. I just wanted to see you naked.

Horror Movie Scary Children’s Book this makes me think of: Bunnicula
Associated pervy quote: I’ve got a great title for a movie that you and I should make together; it’s called, “Night of the Living Spread!”

Horror Movie this makes me think of: Corpse Bride
Associated pervy quote: Why don’t you put that veil back over your face so I can introduce you to my “groomsman”?

Horror Movie this makes me think of: Umm… Tremors?
Associated pervy quote: Why not trade that worm for an anaconda? Gummy anacondas are the best!