Mongo Nation

Hotter than “A Suicide Girls President’s Day” I can tell you that much.

Halloween is our favorite holiday. Christmas is pretty good, because you get presents and everything. And the food is great on Thanksgiving. But only on Halloween do hundreds of thousands of women use the day as an excuse to dress up in the sluttiest, trashiest, most provocative costumes they can find and walk the streets without fear of judgment!

Whoever the genius was that started this trend should be awarded Sainthood or given a medal or something.

The Suicide Girls are, of course, not at all immune to Halloween’s sexy charms. (Not that the Suicide Girls needed any excuse to dress up in slutty outfits or anything.) So celebrate the spirit of Halloween with us by doing exactly what you would’ve been doing anyway: Ogling hot chicks in skimpy costumes.

Horror Movie Vaguely Horrific Family Movie this makes me think of: Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
Associated pervy quote: Congratulations, you found the golden ticket! (To my pants)

Horror Movie this makes me think of: The Stuff
Associated pervy quote: The Stuff: Are you eating it or am I eating you? Um… I mean, or is it eating you? Yeah. Read the rest of this entry →

I sure hope you like robots…

So Capcom unveiled the US cover art for Tatsunoko Vs Capcom: Ultimate All-Stars today. And I’m looking at it, and I’m thinking, “Wow, there are an awful lot of nearly identical robots, and dudes dressed like robots, nearly all of whom are white with red accents. Is this what 40 years of Japanese animation history looks like?” I would have at least tried not to showcase the sameness of the characters as much as this cover does. It’s a bit underwhelming.

How to choose the right single malt Scotch whisky for you!

By Jeremy Azevedo

Last week I had the distinct pleasure of attending a single malt Scotch whisky tasting with Edward “Dirt” Adams, Master of Whisky for the luxury Classic Malts Selection brand.

Classic Malts were showing off their latest releases for the holidays, and I was more than happy to help them out by soaking up a few samples. After I had given up on trying to guess whether Dirt was a Scottish dude with an American accent or an American dude with a Scottish accent, I began to wonder what kind of people would enjoy these fine single malts that I tasted?

To make things easier, I’ve included a picture of the celebrity that each single malt made me think of, in case any of you are illiterate, or too drunk to read the accompanying text. That way, no one feels left out!

Dalwhinnie Distillers Edition

Who is it for?

Dalwhinnie is somewhat sweet, somewhat creamy, and somewhat smoky. In no way does it really tip the scale one way or the other. Dalwhinnie is a smooth, easygoing malt for a consumer that expects excellence, but doesn’t necessarily want to take any risks. It also bears mentioning that when combined with smoky almonds, Dalwhinnie tastes just like bacon. So if you don’t like bacon, then you should probably not eat smoky almonds while drinking this. You should also get a cat scan, because clearly, something is wrong with your brain. Bacon is delicious!

Oban 14

Who is it for?

Oban is one of the oldest Scotch whisky distilleries in the world. It also exists in a particularly unique location, nestled between the coast and the highlands, that is nearly impossible to reproduce. Oban 14 has a slight orange flavor that tastes a bit like Grand Marnier, except not all syrupy and lame. Oban 14 is great for fancy dandies that don’t mind a little fruitiness in their Scotch. Which sounds like an oxymoron, I know. However, those of you who are willing to break the mold of the bearded, salty old dogs drinking Scotch straight with no water, on a bearskin rug that you tell everyone that you killed with your bare hands (but actually bought on eBay), then you will discover that Oban 14 is one of the most unique and wonderful single malts on the market today. Read the rest of this entry →

A funny new sitcom about game-dorks, dorking out about games!

Welcome to Critical Flaw, the hilarious new skit-com about two roommates named Khail and Kovic!

Yep… Those are really their names. No, I am not shitting you.

Follow them as they try to understand the world around them and all the video games contained therein. How will they do this?  With the help of numerous, conversation-derailing flashback sequences, of course!

We have the exclusive uncensored trailer!

The latest installment of the American Pie franchise, “The Book of Love” is coming soon, and we’re hosting the online exclusive, uncensored trailer! And before you ask, yes, there are boobies in it. You’re welcome. Check it (them) out at AmericanPie.CraveOnline.com!

“American Pie: The Book of Love” is the story of three virgins that are tasked with reconstructing “The Bible” of babe slaying and using the knowledge contained therein to become full-fledged cocksmiths of the highest order. Meanwhile, the likelihood of someone attempting to have sex with a food product at some point is very high!