A dark beacon of cynicism in a world of epic fail…

Mongo Nation


Archive for July, 2009


Sony Comic Con Preview Event 0

Posted on July 31, 2009 by jeremyazevedo

By Jeremy Azevedo
Last night Sony hosted a preview event for the majority of their exclusive triple-A titles, including God of War 3 and Heavy Rain. Having not had the pleasure of getting my hands on Heavy Rain at this year’s E3, I was eager to drink as many free drinks as I could.

Oh, and also to play the game if at all possible.

The first title I grabbed was Socom: Fireteam Bravo 3 for the PSP. I know people always like to use the backhanded compliment that “this game looks really good… for a handheld game”. Truth is, the game just looks good. It’s a little hard to get used to the controls, which are very advanced (again, “for a handheld system”). But once you get the hang of it, it’s like playing a full-featured FPS on your PSP, an experience that I’m most certainly lacking on my DS. More of this sort of thing might influence me to finally buy Sony’s competing handheld device.

We checked out Fat Princess next, which was a bright and colorful affair, with lots of blood and force-feeding. I didn’t know much about this game other than that you had to feed cake to your princess, making her heavier so invading armies were unable to make off with her without a struggle. In practice, it’s a very well done tower defense game with different character classes, tons of different strategies that can be implemented and the added bonus of being borderline offensive to hardcore feminists. Win! Read the rest of this entry →

Konami to Bring Metalocalypse to XBLA 0

Posted on July 31, 2009 by jeremyazevedo

metalbanner-copy

Metalocalypse: Dethgame in development!

By Jeremy Azevedo
Konami has a reputation for developing the lion’s share of the best, licensed brawlers that have ever been played by human hands. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, X-Men, The Simpsons, the list is long and illustrious.

Soon to be added to that list is Dethklok, the world’s greatest fictional Norwegian death metal band! We just got word that Adult Swim and Konami are hard at work on a Dethklok game for Xbox Live called “Metalocalypse: Dethgame“. Fans of Metapocalypse will be happy to know that their beloved metal gods will be in capable hands, and will be hoping that Konami’s involvement doesn’t lead to firey, bloody destruction like it does for most other corporate entities that get involved with Dethklok on the show.

Series creator Brendan Small had this to say about the game:

“We have gone above and beyond and found the biggest nerds in the industry to help develop and deliver what will without a doubt be the most successful downloadable cartoon death metal game in recorded history,” said Small.  “I defy anyone to find another death metal cartoon that can claim the same. But I think the most important thing to remember beyond the record setting CD sales and astounding ratings and growing rabid fans around the world is that this game is going to be a blast to play. I am very excited to be a part of making video games metal.”

Official synopsis from the press release:

In Metalocalypse: Dethgame, players will be immersed in the world of Dethklok. As a Klokateer, one of the band’s loyal roadies, players will be unleashed on a heinous rampage against rabid mutant fans in brutal combat.  Fight mutants, explore the rooms and dungeons of Mordhaus and protect the METAL faithful. All of this action set to the music of Dethklok, including tracks from the best-selling Dethklok: The Dethalbum. Additionally, the game will feature three all-new songs from Williams Street Records’ Dethklok 2 which will be available later this fall. Complete with mini-games, Metalocalypse provides an optimal gaming experience rarely seen in a downloadable game.

With Metalocalypse: Dethgame AND a new Dethklok album coming in the fall, it’s looking like it’s going to be a very metal holiday! THUNDERHORSE!!

Taco the Town: Christian Lander 0

Posted on July 31, 2009 by jeremyazevedo

image_1-31

The author of “Stuff White People Like” likes tacos!

Welcome to “Taco the Town”, the most delicious interview show on the Interwebs!

Because our studio is located in the backrom of a Chuck E. Cheese (an establishment that we’re not presently allowed within a hundred yards of), we’ll be talking to famous musicians, authors, inanimate objects, robot bartenders, celebrity hookers, actors and models in the one place that everyone can agree on: The Taco Stand!

Today we’ll be talking to Christian Lander, author of the wildly popular blog and best selling book, “Stuff White People Like“! Christian spoke with us about his anthropological studies of the North American Upwardly Mobile White Hipster, tacos (Protip: White people love them!) and his advice for upcoming writers and bloggers. Check it all out right here, exclusively on CraveOnline!

Also check out Christian’s new show on Justin.tv, The PC Hookup Show with Christian Lander!

Suicide Girls Dress Up at Comic Con 0

Posted on July 31, 2009 by jeremyazevedo

image_1-22

Playing dress up is fun, but hot babes playing dress up is even more so

The Suicide Girls are showing love for the nerds at Comic Con by dressing up in all manner of sexy cosplay regalia. Check out this gallery of some of our favorites from the site:

This one is from True Crime, True North, a Canadian pulp fiction anthology. Bonus points for obsscurity!

Wolverine, of course. Only with this Wolverine, the adamantium is in your pants.
Read the rest of this entry →

Harry Potter to Appear in Every Movie, Retroactively 0

Posted on July 31, 2009 by jeremyazevedo

image_1-13

How else will the public be persuaded to re-watch “Three Men and a Baby?”

By Jeremy Azevedo
That Harry Potter is one hell of a cash cow, there’s no denying it. Each Harry Potter movie that comes out just seems to rake in more and more cash, with worldwide totals for the series nearing five billion. Billion!

The movies make so goddamn much money that Warner Bros has split the last book into two movies in order to wring an extra billion or so out of the franchise. But once that’s over and done with, where else is there for Harry Potter to go?

Obviously there are no further adventures of Harry Potter to make movies out of, and J.K. Rowling doesn’t seem to have any desire to write more of them. But this hasn’t stopped Warner Bros from making a deal with several other major studios to retroactively put Harry Potter into hundreds of older films that aren’t selling well on DVD. Our undercover agents in Hollywood have managed to uncover movie posters for a handful of newly Harry Potter-ized films due for release. Check ‘em out!

When Harry Potter Met Sally

Harry and Sally meet when she gives him a ride to London after they both graduate from the Hogwarts School of Withcraft and Wizardry. The film jumps through their lives as they both search for the Dark Lord Voldemort, but fail, bumping into each other time and time again. Finally a close friendship blooms between them, and they both like having a magical friend of the opposite sex. But then they are confronted with the problem: “Can a magical man and a magical woman be friends, without magical sex getting in the way?”

Three Men and a Baby That Miraculously Survived an Attack by the Dark Lord Voldemort

Three lady-killing bachelors (one of whom even has a sweet mustache and everything) find a baby in the back alley of a popular nightclub. Unable to locate the parents of the child (who has a mysterious lightning-bolt shaped scar on his head), the three men take it upon themselves to raise the baby as their own. Hilarity ensues when the new fathers have to learn how to change diapers and get pee stains out of their clothes, while simultaneously fighting off nosy social workers and a secret society of dark wizards that will stop at nothing to see young Harry dead! Read the rest of this entry →



↑ Top