Mongo Nation

News from the worst week in human history since… last week

By The Most Pissed-Off Dude In The World

Some asshole hippy is asking people to vote on how he should destroy his $60,000, 2006 Range Rover SUV in a publicity stunt engineered to make him look some kind of environmental altruist or something…

Am I the only person who is growing tired of these privileged motherfuckers smugly rubbing their self-righteousness in the faces of citizens for whom that very same $60,000 might make save them from bankruptcy or home foreclosure? I hope he destroys it by personally driving it off a cliff, ridding the world of one more trust fund collecting prick bastard Nuevo-beatnik idiot while he’s at it.

Just look at this prick with his flip flops and cargo shorts and Ghostbusters T-shirt…

In other news, 50 Cent is suing Taco Bell for suggesting that he change his name to 79 Cent or some such for a day so that they can sell more tacos or whatever. 4 million dollars is what he’s asking for. If 50 Cent really gets 4 fucking million dollars because a shitty Taco chain made fun of his stupid ass name, I am going to shit a buffalo, that’s how pissed I will be. Fuck you, 50 Cent. Right in the bum.

Bitches don’t know ’bout my TACO TIME!

Hey, Matthew McConagay had a kid this week or whatever! Supposedly homedude was in the delivery room for like 16 hours doing tribal dances and spinning fucking tribal Brazilian records (where in the hell does one actually find tribal Brazilian records anyway?). To everyone’s surprise, he didn’t give the kid a stupid ass, socially crippling name like “Apple”, “Kal-el” or “Bingo Pajama”… but even so, we’ve got to be about due for a shark attack by now haven’t we?

Now’ is as good a time as any to dust off this old chestnut…

Lastly, The kid who was on the cover of Nirvana’s “Nevermind” album is in the news all the time now that he is a teenager and thinks that makes him special. Apparently the little douchebag thinks he’s like an expert on the 90s or something, because he won’t shut up about it… at least whenever he’s done talking about everyone seeing his baby dick or how kids aren’t angsty enough these days for his taste. I don’t know why we are being subjected to his opinion but I wish he’d take a page from the Blind Melon “Bee Girl’s” playbook and shut your whoresome trap already.

Some kid that won’t shut up about his peeny holding a record worth a bajillion dollars.