“Black Tide” is a group of old school metal heads, most of which are still in school, as their ages range from as old as 19 to as young as 15. Despite their age, these kid shred like the swarthiest, beardiest, 40 year old Dio cover band you’ve ever seen.
This is because the band was grown in test tubes by Interscope scientists, using the combined DNA of a tour bus full of Iron Maiden fans that crashed in 1983. The genetic protoplasm that would eventually become Black Tide was continually exposed to the 2CD “Monsters of Rock” collection (as seen on TV!) every waking moment of their incubation process (and also in the sleeping moments, too).
Black Tide kickin’ it in Hell, being all like “whatever!”
As we move further and further into the digital age, sharing your creative vision with other musicians in a band is rapidly becoming a thing of the past. We now have computers that can play most any instruments convincingly enough for us, thus eliminating the need for human collaboration.
Some people think this is unnatural, a cop-out. Others call it progress. In the case of Daniel Hunter, the one-man band that is the beating heart of MySpace favorite “PlayRadioPlay”, this shift seems to be working out quite well in his favor.
Like most people you meet from Texas these days, Daniel looks like a pussy. It’s hard to remember that all those bloody westerns you saw as a kid were: A. period pieces and B. populated by tough looking (albeit probably homosexual) actors from California. But while he may look like a weenie, Daniel plays his little keyboards like a goddamn sonuvabitch on fire. I imagine that’s an expression one might use in Texas so I thought I’d throw it in there.
The dude from PRP pretending to be a robot or something, don’t ask me why.
“Good Lord, What Are You Doing?” AKA “Everyone’s a Rat”
Apparently, this is the last trailer for GTA IV that Rockstar is going to release prior to the much-anticipated release of the game on April 29, 2008. The trailer looks so good, it’s nearly impossible not to get caught up in the hype surrounding this game. But I won’t waste any more of your time telling you about it, because you can see for yourself right here.
If you go into “Run Fat Boy Run” expecting it to be anything like Simon Pegg’s previous films, “Shaun of the Dead” or “Hot Fuzz”, prepare to be sorely disappointed. First of all, there’s no Edgar Wright, Simon’s tubbier sidekick, Second of all, Run Fat Boy Run was directed by David Schwimmer, who everyone knows is a nerd.
However, the script was written by “The State” alum Michael Ian Black, so that’s a comfort. But it’s about a fat guy that isn’t even really all that fat, which is sorta weird. There are a lot of expectations one might have going into this film, so it’s best if you just sort of let all that go and try and enjoy the picture for what it is: a charming comedy that tells a pretty ordinary story under the guise of an extraordinary premise.
Wait, did I just use the word “charming” in a review? I’m afraid so. The thing about this movie is, about the time you realize that this is ultimately a pretty formulaic film, you also realize that this isn’t always such a bad thing to be. And because of the strength of the cast, what might otherwise come across as cheesy is somehow disarmingly endearing. Much of the credit for this has to be given to Simon Pegg. He is such an “everyman” that virtually anyone can see them self in his position. He’s not too dorky, or too cool, or too good looking, he’s just a really average guy with pretty significant comedic acting chops that can convey a lot by doing very little.
Endless hype for stupid entertainment products surround us at all times. Hype that blinds us with enormous glossy turds, making it hard to see the little gems that maybe don’t have millions of advertising dollars helping to shove them right in our faces.
That’s why the C4 Anti Suck algorithim was invented, to scientifically sift through all the junk and find four things that absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, will not suck in any way.
Funny Games
I’ve seen so many negative things written about “Funny Games”, that I feel something must be said in its defense. Funny Games is neither torture-porn nor art-house smut, as most of the critics would have you believe. Actually, it more closely resembles a classic thriller like “Cape Fear” or maybe the disturbing “Last House on the Left” than it does shitty slapstick shock horror like “Saw” or “Hostel.
In this film, the victims are fully developed and relateable adult characters rather than the usual 22-year-old models running around screaming and crying. The villains, on the other hand, are so disturbingly psychopathic that any explanation for their behavior would seem contrived, and so, no explanation is given. Seriously, when Michael Pitt breaks the fourth wall and addresses the audience directly, your skin will crawl. This is where the film really excels, by the way, when it reaches out to the viewer and forces you to react. This is something that most films these days have forgotten how to do.
I’ll never see preppy dorks in quite the same way ever again.
Like the 1994 Oliver Stone picture that tackled the same basic subject matter “Natural Born Killers”, Funny Games gives bloodthirsty audiences all the horror they can stomach and more. Although no actual gore is ever really shown, the terror is tangible, and the shots are painfully long and awkward, at first exciting you with promises of bat-shit crazy murder before making you feel like a sick freak for being entertained by such a thing in the first place.
