Singstar 90s: I Hate the 90s Edition
The absolute, unequivocal, worst that karaoke has to offer.
 By Jeremy Azevedo |
If you haven’t heard of and/or played “Singstar” in any of it’s various incarnations yet, you should know that it’s essentially the “Guitar Hero” of karaoke video games. |
Which sounds kind of redundant now that there’s “Rock Band”, but that’s how it stands. Quality tracks (depending on your stylistic preferences), quality peripherals and quality presentation are all hallmarks of the Singstar brand.
Last year US karaoke enthusiasts were treated to an excellent collection of 80s tunes in the form of “Singstar 80s”. The songs on this collection were both challenging and fun, with great old pop songs like “Kids in America”, “You Spin Me Round (The Meatspin Song)” and “Who Can It Be Now”. Of course there are one or two stinkers on the list, but all in all, it cannot be said that the 80s were not a time of wild-eyed enthusiasm and musical experimentation. To it’s credit, “Singstar 80s” does a pretty good job of expressing the playful spirit of 80s pop music to the gamer.
MC Hammer: A crime against music, taste and fashion that we may never fully recover from.
The next logical step, of course, would be to release an all-90s edition. And unfortunately for the collective ear-holes of America, that’s exactly what Sony has gone and done. Having lived my teenage years in the 90s, I am painfully familiar with the decade in which pop music took a serious nosedive that it is still struggling to come back from. As bad as some of the music from previous eras was, it mostly manages to be remembered with relative fondness today. Not so with the “hits” of the 90s.
At best, some of these songs may be worth a laugh at a party, but most are absolutely cringe worthy. Have a look at the list of included songs and imagine yourself singing any of them:
Arrested Development - “Tennessee”
Boyz II Men - “Motownphilly”
Chumbawamba - “Tubthumping”
Color Me Badd - “I Wanna Sex You Up”
The Cranberries - “Zombie”
Divinyls - “I Touch Myself”
En Vogue - “Free Your Mind”
Extreme - “More Than Words”
Gin Blossoms - “Hey Jealousy”
Hootie And The Blowfish - “Only Wanna Be With You”
Jesus Jones - “Right Here Right Now”
Len - “Steal My Sunshine”
MC Hammer - “U Can’t Touch This”
Natalie Imbruglia - “Torn”
New Kids on the Block - “Step By Step”
Nirvana - “Lithium”
Paula Abdul - “Opposites Attract”
Poison - “Unskinny Bop”
R.E.M. - “Everybody Hurts”
Santana feat. Rob Thomas - “Smooth”
Savage Garden - “I Want You”
Seal - “Kiss From a Rose”
Sir Mix a Lot - “Baby Got Back”
Sixpence None The Richer - “Kiss Me”
Soundgarden - “Black Hole Sun”
Spin Doctors - “Two Princes”
Stone Temple Pilots - “Plush”
Technotronic feat. Felly - “Pump Up the Jam”
Vanilla Ice - “Ice Ice Baby”
Wilson Phillips - “Hold On”
Chumbawumba anyone? I would rather eat the computer that I’m writing this on than even so much as hear Len or Hootie and the Blowfish ever again, let alone sing along with them. And what’s with all the rap songs? As much as I like hip-hop, I’m a staunch believer that rapping is not karaoke in any way shape or form. I’m a purist of sorts.
If you added “Summer Love”, “Anything By Bon Jovi”, “Goldigger”, “My Heart Will Go On” and “Umbrella” to this track list, you’d pretty much have a laundry list of the most annoying songs ever warbled in a karaoke bar, ever. Anyone that thinks it would be fun to sing “Smooth” by Santana (feat. Rob Thomas) should be chemically castrated in order to ensure that music this bad never happens again.
Za-am-BEY, za-am-BEY, za-am BEY-EE, BEY-EE, BEY-EE!
The only thing I could even conceive of that would be worse than this would be “Singstar: Nu-Metal” featuring Creed, Korn, Staind, Limp Bizkit, Nickelback and Puddle of Mudd. Although, in all fairness, we did dodge a bullet by having several tracks removed or replaced from the International version. Check out this lit of horrors that were excluded from the US release:
All Saints - “Never Ever”
Aqua - “Barbie Girl”
B-52’s - “Love Shack”
Barenaked Ladies - “One Week”
Billy Ray Cyrus - “Achy Breaky Heart”
The Cardigans - “Lovefool”
Crash Test Dummies - “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm”
The Cure - “Friday I’m in Love”
Divinyls - “I Touch Myself”
EMF - “Unbelievable”
Lisa Loeb - “Stay”
M People - “Moving on Up”
Meredith Brooks - “Bitch”
Natalie Imbruglia - “Torn”
New Kids on the Block - “Step by Step”
Nick Cave & Kylie Minogue - “Where the Wild Roses Grow”
Radiohead - “Creep”
Roachford - “Only to be With You”
Spice Girls - “Wannabe”
Wet Wet Wet - “Love Is All Around”
It may be a small consolation, but at least we were spared The Spice Girls, Billy Ray Cyrus and The Crash Test Dummies.
